A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:How do you know when a relationship is on the break?My bf is tempermental, and when he is drunk he can either be loving and say he loves me and wants to be with me, then on a bad day when he is drunk says he hates me and wishes I would die. This behaviour he has no memory of as he suffers from blackouts!We used to be so close and we were the couple that people would look at and people could see how stronge we were, we've just recently lost "our touch" in all avenues!! We are not the same emotionally, mentally, nor physically.We are both under stress and we are not cheating on eachother and there is no one else.How could a couple that declared their love and dreams of a future together and dreams of getting married suddenly feel like a dream that once was rather than a future that we were certain of?How did we end up on two different paths from one month to the next?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Viv Acious  +, writes (14 November 2010):
Hello.
I can tell you what happened - it sounds like you are in an abusive relationship with an alcoholic. Abuse does not have to be physical. There is also verbal, emotional and psychological abuse and they are all rather nasty and can have a devastating impact on the victim.
You have been verbally abused and you are also being psychologically abused - you don't know which personality you are going to have to deal with -Mr Nice or Mr Bastard. Is he drunk again? He is going to insult me again? Is he going to shout and me and tell me he wished I was dead? But when he's nice...he's sooo nice and I know he loves me - he only does it when he drinks. And how often does he drink? How often is he shouting and snarling at you?
He needs help. And you also need help and support. Go online and search for coping with alcoholism, how to get help for alcholics or talk to a doctor.
I wish the very best of luck.x
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