A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Last night, I got drunk with my cousin (who is also my best friend) and her boyfriend. I wound up staying the night with them and sharing their bed with them. My cousin wound up passing out early on in the night and her boyfriend started coming onto me. Me, being really drunk and especially turned on, let him kiss me and eventually led to having sex. Thing is, although I was drunk I still knew what I was doing was wrong but didn't do anything to stop it. We both agreed it would be our secret, but I feel incredibly awful about the whole thing. I don't want to keep it a secret from her, but I also don't want to tell her either. I feel like I would lose my best friend and she'll never forgive me. They've been together for about 4 years now, and they also have a 3 year old son. I know what I did was wrong, knew it was wrong when I let it happen, and now can't stop thinking about how awful a person I am.What should I do? I need help! My conscience is eating me alive.
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2010): Just because they aren't married , it doesn't make what you did any 'better'. I mean they've been together for four years, a lot longer than most married couples. Tell her.
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2010): you need to rid alcohol of ur life completely miss. a perfect example of why here.
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell, for one thing...their child doesn't even live with them, do he doesn't even see his parents on a regulate day to day basis...and honestly I wasn't thinking at the time. I just KNEW it was wrong. I'm not saying I don't feel bad about it because I do. I absolutely do. And yes, she is my best friend, but that's not to say that neither of us make stupid and fucked up mistakes. And I was extremely drunk, not thinking clearly. Alcohol impairs my logical thoughts. And I know that is no excuse. I just want some relief from the guilt I am constantly dealing with now. If you think what I did is THAT bad, think again...my dad had an affair with one of my aunt's related by marriage and is now married to her. I feel like after that destroying not only my family, but my aunt and uncle's family that I would NEVER participate in an affair but low and behold I did...and it just so happened to be in the family. I feel like I'm turning into my dad...I'm just an awful person. And I would also like to make clear that they are NOT married.
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 November 2010): Tell her, if he cheated on u, he has probably cheated on someone else
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female
reader, Viv Acious  +, writes (14 November 2010):
Hello.
For me the most important person in this is the three year old son. If and when you tell your cousin, you are going to be dropping a hand grenade into this child's world. Your cousin is going to explode, shout, scream cry - possibly and probably break-up with her husband. This child's parents could break up and his world damaged because of what the two of you did. Bet that wasn't on your mind when you decided to betray on your cousin (and best-friend? Wow...with friends like you...) As for him....don't even get me started.
So, for the sake of the child only - not his mother (so drunk she passed out), not his father (no morals about bedding his wife's cousin in their own home) and not you (having sex with her cousin/best friend's huband) do not tell her. Poor kid - what a family!
The very best of luck to you all.
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