A
female
age
51-59,
*orothea
writes:What happened with my best friend?I met this lady while we were both mature students at college. We had so much fun together (I was 23 when I met her) and were best friends for 13 years. She had just been through a bad divorce with a very rich man when she met me, I comforted her and introduced her to a good dating agency I knew of to help her, through which she met a nice man who lived some distance away, she saw him at weekends and we continued seeing each other, she always had misgivings about him however. Then years later when they broke up I helped her through her pain, during this time she joined the agency again and met another very rich man with a yacht etc. She asked me to call his business even to check that he was legit which I did as a friend even though this is not strictly ethical. She arranged for us all to meet and I noticed during our first meeting that he did not seem to like me, he got up when we'd only been chatting about 5 minutes and exclaimed that he had to get on with something else. After this she became nasty and sarcastic with me, if I texted her she replied with sarcasm, then after a while she said nothing at all, not even replying to birthday or christmas cards any more. She moved away from our city to be with him so obviously I dont see her any more but I miss her. Why did she turn so nasty. What went on here do you think? Ive not heard anything from her for about 5 years but still wonder what happened.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Viv Acious +, writes (16 November 2010):
Hello.
Just to day that, unfortunately, I am not a mind reader. All that I can do is speculate, but that is not a concrete answer.
All that I can conclude that the turning point in your friend's behaviour happened after the three of you went out on your first (where there more?) meeting. He was apparently nasty to you and left. This in itself raises questions. What was said and done between the two of you? Or was he just instantly nasty? Was he expecting you on this meeting? However, the similarity here is that he turned nasty and then she also turned nasty.
It could be that she blamed you for him leaving and seriously held it against you. She might of held out high hopes (counting her chickens before they hatched) and then decided YOU were the reason for him leaving and decided the attach all blame for ruining her would-be relationship. Totally unreasonable and shallow, of course, but many people are and we are disappointe when we realised we probably really didn't know the person at all.
But you know what? With friends that fickle - what have you really lost? I would have to say not much. I think we all have episodes in our lives when we think 'what on earth happened there?'. The fact is we can't ever know (unless they tell us) and you just have to let it go.
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