A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:i was in a long term relationship for 7 months until it got too much and we split, we split as i had enough of him making me do things like not letting me go out or sometimes even speak to boys, he also stopped me going out with my friends as much, now i've realised that i cant/find it hard to socialize with people especially boys which is difficult as i want a relationship but what guy wants a girl with no personality? please can you help me and give me advice on what i should do to gain more confidence?
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male
reader, gazsalt +, writes (13 April 2011):
Easy i would stick to going out with your mates but get a nsa senario going find some guys meet up once or twice a week or more if you want use them for pleasure then go off again no string is good you get the sexyou want and the freedom to live your life how you want.
A
male
reader, Odds  +, writes (13 April 2011):
 You have one, you're probably just having a hard time advertising it effectively. There is a fine three-way balance between showing your genuine self, personally working to constantly better yourself, and showing it in a way and at a rate that will intrigue guys without scaring them away.
The only long-term solution is practice. Put yourself out there, and be willing to take risks. If I told you right now that you had to get shot down 19 times to get one perfect "Yes," would you be willing to go out and do it?
Short-term, your best bet is to reconnect with your female friends, get your general social confidence up, and talk to their guy friends as a way to practice. When you're ready, you can start taking chances again - just remember that, even if it doesn't work out the first few times, that doesn't mean it never will. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, kristina kumar  +, writes (13 April 2011):
 Hey, I'm in exactly the same position as you, its really horrible but the way I see it babe is we shouldn't be letting some guy control us and change us. We are who we are and if boys wanna change there girlfriend then why not go and find a girl who fits there glove perfect!! Just be how u used to be before u even met the guy am sure he'll come running back they always do and if its meant to be then he wouldn't feel the need to change u, but that's boys for u chick! There all the same I've given up, they are too much agro and stress!!! Be who u r and youl be a lot happier trust me!! Hope that helps xxxxxx
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (13 April 2011):
 Your guy is jealous and extremely immature, and you're not strong enough yet to stand up for yourself. If you ever ever allow a guy to have power over you so that you subject yourself to his *letting* you do things or not, then he's not right for you, and you need to toughen up.
Gain confidence by being strong. Be strong by standing up for yourself. It starts at home. Stand up for what you believe in and what your dreams are. Stand up and don't let anyone push you around. Stand up and let youself have fun.
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A
female
reader, catcher00 +, writes (13 April 2011):
Who is to say you have no personality? Someone out there just may love you for who/what/how you are right now. The trick to gaining confidence and attracting a partner is to accept yourself... don't TRY to be anything you're not, which is what it sounds like you're attempting to do. There are no tricks or "solutions"--you just need to get it out of your head that there is a problem w/ your personality.
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