A
female
age
51-59,
*mentall
writes:Ok so here goes.. My BF and I agreed to take things slow. He said we needed to talk. This was after 6 weeks of no contact. He said he loves me and cares about me. We made plans to get together to talk and grab a bite to eat on Friday.Friday didn't work because he had to work early on Saturday and I live 45 minutes away.Saturday he got into a huge fight with his mother plus he didn't get his check, so that was a no go.Sunday, I didn't hear from him.Monday he called at 8 a.m. to see if we could get together. I had to take my friend to the dr for a procedure, he said "Give me a call whenever you get done" I called he didn't answer. So that didn't work.I sent him a text that since we couldn't talk about whatever the problem is, then we're better off apart since he had put so much distance between us.I agreed when he said we needed to talk. Why won't he talk when the idea was his to begin with?He called tonight and asked "what was up with that mean text, I thought we were going to take things slow, it seams like when you text if I don't text you right back you get mad?" I said "I'm tired I feel like I'm .....click He Hung Up On Me!!What gives? Am I just wasting my time? I Love Him and would love for this relationship to eventually go somewhere. When we finally manage to get together we go out, stay in, I've met his parents and brother and some friends then he is totally attentive very affectionate, holds my hand, kisses me. Lovemaking is amazing! This is our first real fight. Any clue as to what gives? Suggestions? Comments? Help, I've never had to post a question online in my entire life.
View related questions:
text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, 2old4this +, writes (23 October 2009):
 Yea, he is not seeing another as i said. These other women on here need to realize that not all men are liars and players. Some of us guys just have some problems with intimacy or even have problems recognizing a good thing when we see it. I believe he wanted to take it slow because he has no clue where his life is right now and probably doesnt want to hurt you. But, he also wants to be close with someone too. I think if you are understanding and a little patient with him it will all come together soon enough. However, you cant wait around forever for mr probably to become mr definitely ya know. Just keep that in the back of your mind. Luck.
A
female
reader, Imentall +, writes (22 October 2009):
Imentall is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell I shouldn't have said "boyfriend". He is someone I've been dating for couple of months. I would just like some clafiication as to what he means by "take things slow"? I honestly don't think that he is seeing anyone else. I'm very attracted to him, but I think maybe I see him bette than he sees himself. He is a little heavier than most guys I've dated and I think this bothers him alot. He's mentioned it negatively several times.I'm not exactly keen on us seeing other people, but would deal with it if thats what his idea of slow is.When we finally do manage to get together, he is 100% mine. He rarely answers his phone and does geniunely caring things for me. Just little stuff that when you put it all together is endearing.A friends mom thinks that he is down on himself and possibly his parents are riding him pretty hard. He is fighting with his brother too. He got laid off from a great job last year, lost his house had to move in with his parents (his brother lives right across the street). He just recently started a new job and HVAC school. He talked to me about his going to school and asked me if I'd help him with it. I said sure, I'll help you any way I can.My gut tells me that he does really care for me, and that he is going through some rough times. He even asked me if I would consider moving closer to him so that we could see each other more often. I'm willing to give him space and not monopolize his time but I would like some of it. Even if it comes in the form of a phone call.He also told me that he was looking for a girlfriend for a while before we met but gave up because it just wasn't happening. I'm not sure exactly what is going on, but I would bet my life he's not seeing anyone else.
...............................
A
male
reader, GrimmReality +, writes (22 October 2009):
 RUN!...the guy is seeing someone else, and you are the last to know
...............................
A
male
reader, 2old4this +, writes (22 October 2009):
More info would be nice, but I don't think he is seeing anyone else at all. From what you wrote you two just don't seem to have time for each other and it's frustrating him as well as you. Because it is already unstable, if you guys get a chance to make plans to meet, then you can't break those plans. Let him know this too. Oh, and just because you are the woman doesn't mean you can't make the first move. Call him and let him know EXACTLY what you want from him. Guys don't do subtle and we don't get hints well either.
...............................
A
female
reader, sugar_sugar +, writes (22 October 2009):
 If this is your first real fight then why exactly did you guys decide to take things slow, why haven't you guys spoke for 6 weeks?Are you actually still together, is he still your boyfriend? Because I know if I hadn't spoken to my boyfriend in 6 weeks and he couldn't get his crap together to see me after that point I would be very pessimistic about the future of the relationship.I think you need to include more information, a stable relationship won't require a 6 week break for no apparent reason.How long have you guys been together?
...............................
|
