A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I've known this guy for around 2 yrs. We get along really well and we regularly meet and go out together. We're very good friends and we feel comfortable around each other. I've known from the beginning that he was attracted to me but I had told him that I want to stay just friends. Lately, however, we've been getting a bit closer, we didn't have sex but we were close to it and he told me that he can't stop thinking about me and that he wants to have a relationship with me. I told him that I don't know what I want and he was understanding and said that he doesn't want to force me into anything.I know that he's a trustworthy guy who would make a really good boyfriend...but there's one problem: I'm not sexually attracted to him. With my ex, I used to dream about getting married to him and having his kids but with this guy I simply don't feel like I want to get intimate with him and get closer to him. On the other hand, I feel that this guy deserves a chance (maybe the attraction will develop later??)..but I'm also scared that I'll hurt him. He had some bad relationship experiences in the past and I don't want to be another girl who lets him down again. I'm also afraid that in the future I might regret that I have lost him. I don't know what to do!
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 October 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI think you're right about the fact that I need to make a choice..I've decided to just stay friends with the guy. If he initiates a conversation about relationships and so on, I'll make it clear to him that I want to be just friends, I'd hate to know that he thinks i'm stringing him along. thanks for your answer
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 October 2009): Its kinda late and i can't think right now. But after reading i can say that you are treating him bad. You're using him as something like a back up, a safety net, etc. I'm sure you wouldn't like it if someone was talking to you and wanted to go around looking for a gurl, but kept you close by so he wouldn't have to worry about being alone.
But yeah i dont want to say this kinda stuff to you as its late and i'm tired so i'll just say...
Be honest with him. Dont leave him like that. No matter what your relationship is, i know you care about him even a little. And you know that "Lets just be friends (for now)" is not the true answer. You have the upper advantage in a bit of everything in this 'relationship'. All i can really say is "be careful". Make choices and dont regret.
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