A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I'm trying to put my finger on my wife's jealousy issues so I'd like to know, primarily from women, what images could make her feel this way. As a man, I feel sick when I think of who/how she went down on other guys...but what about women? What images or thoughts of me in bed with other women specifically might make her feel sick? What images or sex acts might be most troubling for her? Thank you.
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female
reader, largentsgirl89 +, writes (10 November 2010):
 I compare myself to other women that my fiance has been with and I always wonder what they did, positions, thoughts they had while having sex, if he looked at her the same way, etc. My fiance always tells me how much he loves me. Remind her that you love her and that she is your wife and the other women from your past aren't and for good reason. Compliment her. And women from porno magazines and films? Please. We could all look like that with dieticians and personal trainers that push us.
They aren't real women. Your wife is. Tell her that. Comfort her in the knowledge that you love her and only her and you're ocntent with waking up to her beautiful self every day.
A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (10 November 2010):
 It's not likely to be a specific sexual act. It's far more likely that she is comparing herself to the other women and finding herself wanting. The insecurity leads to jealousy. The idea that you might find another woman sexually desirable could be devastating if she is deeply unsure of her own attractiveness and desirability.
This is a pretty classic male/female divide. If men had the same insecurities, the porn industry would suffer because the men watching would wither under the constant self-comparison of the perfect bodies.
See, what's going through a woman's head while watching porn is this: "Oh my god, look at those boobs, they are perfect, there's not a sag or a stretchmark, and her thighs! No cellulite! And how does she manage to shave EVERYTHING?" *sideways glance at the man she's watching with* "Oh no, look at him, I can tell he wants HER, I wouldn't stand a chance if she was in the room with us, he probably thinks I'm fat and has to fantasize about another woman just to get hard. I'm hopeless, I'll never ever in a million years look like that and I'm getting older and saggier and my skin is starting to wrinkle and I just can't compete."
We compare ourselves to the women, you see, and I can pretty much guarantee you that even the most beautiful women you know have insecurities about themselves.
So stop trying to apply man-logic to her. She has her own logic, which is just as illogical as you feeling retrograde jealousy, if that makes any sense. This stuff defies logic. It stems from feelings deep inside. It would help if you could elaborate on her feelings, as you understand them.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 November 2010): I don't think there's specific positions or sex acts as such that would upset her, i think it's just the idea of you being with another woman full stop. Sex is usually an emtional thing for women so the act in itself isn't the most troubling it's the idea of you being intimate with someone else.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 November 2010): Women don't generally have jealousy about your history, they are more about the here and now. Women will get jealous if they think their man desires another woman or finds her sexy. It is a major difference between the male and female brain.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 November 2010): Maybe it might not be as specific as the actual act but rather the idea that you might be performing said sexual acts on another woman. Jealousy stems from insecurity, maybe if she is larger she gets jealous of women with a smaller figure, if she's small breasted then maybe the idea that you'd want to be with a larger busted women is compelling enough to give these kinds of thoughts. It's hard to pinpoint as it could be many things that give women insecurities, but just be there to comfort her and remind her that you wouldn't cheat, love her with all your heart etc etc.
Best of luck!
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