A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Hi. What exactly is friends with benefits? All sounds a bit immature to me! Is this a normal sexual relationship based on denial so that no-one gets 'hurt'? Many thanks.
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2008): I have been involved in one...or two...some years ago. It just does not work for me. I am one of those strange people for whom sex must involve a deep emotional feeling..and yes,..commitment. It is just too intense an emotional experience for me. And if the emotion is not there...it doesn't happen.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 November 2008): i think friends with benefits is great, well in some situations. i have a boyfriend right now, and we have been dating for a while now, but before we started dating we were like best friends, and we liked each other but didnt wanna ruin our friendship. so we decided to hang out 'alone' together, and than we became freinifits. we wanted to make sure that we were a good match before we started actually dating, and honestly hes amazing :) and i think us being friends with benefits before we started dating was a great idea. i love him 3
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 November 2008): You are right - and rarely people don't get hurt as it usually ruins the friendship.
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A
female
reader, babewithbrains  +, writes (25 November 2008):
 Ahhh... so thats what it means...
I though it meant poor people living on government benifits...*laughs at childish stupidity.*
Jelly
;)
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 November 2008): hey me and one of my closes friend did that and me and her dont takl like we use to dont do it
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 November 2008): I don't know where it originated either, Phil. I have heard it for a few years. And yes, it is just sex without commitment... but with someone you have known for a time as opposed to a one-night stand with a stranger. I suppose some people can manage it, but I think complications are usually involved.
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 November 2008): I think another Aunt, Eyeswideopen, summed it up quite nicely a few days ago by saying it's just a posh way of saying fuck buddies.
I'd never heard of the term before I joined this site and I'm guessing it's an American 'import' - or 'export' -depending upon which side of the Atlantic you are.
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 November 2008): Friends with benefits can be a very tricky type of relationship, and I'm sure in some cases they are like what you describe.I've only been in one such relationship, but from that I can say friends with benefits definitely require a large degree of maturity. Unless everyone involved is very clear about the relationship, and has total respect for the other(s), then you're just looking for trouble.As for why you would want such a relationship, well, sometimes you can have great sexual chemistry with someone with whom you just don't want the full emotional commitment too or who just isn't a good match for you in terms of a longterm relationship.Just because a relationship isn't based on an emotional attachment doesn't mean you can't have a mature, respectful, and rewarding sexual relationship with someone.The biggest things are resepect and good communication though, or else someone probably will get hurt, and you might end up losing a friend as well as the benefits.Hope that helps.
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A
female
reader, katatonik  +, writes (25 November 2008):
 "Friends with benefits" describes a situation in which two (supposedly platonic) friends are sexually intimate with one another but do not consider the liaison a relationship or a commitment in any way. I say "supposedly platonic" because often being just friends who happen to have sex doesn't quite work out that way. Unless both partners are completely unattached to one another emotionally, one-sided feelings can develop out of the intimacy, i.e. one partner finds himself or herself wanting a relationship with the other, who does not. Hope this helps.
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