A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have been going out with my girlfriend now for 3years. We are now both 17 and feel it is the right time to lose our virginity to each other. We have done all the bj thing, but i feel that we needed to go further. So last night she came over to my house and we got into bed wuth each otha, but when it got to it she said that she wanted to wait until after marrage. so she suggested that we try anal because it was not technically sex. so we did that and loved it, but i don't think we could do that until we maybe 1 day get married, beacuse i love her and she loves me. So is there anything else maybe we can do to help our sex life without actually having sex?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 May 2007): well.. that sound very difficult I have to say to you and your partner. most of the time in a relationship the idea of coming close to each other in an sensitive way can be very tempiting exspecially when one wants to wait after marriage. my answer to your question to you is... Do you really love her more than want you say? If yes, then there sholudn`t be any problem having to have sex now or after marriage, because if your mind is set on her as your future-woman-to-be, then havin sex with her at in time should not block your way of sharing something so valuable with her.. because in your mind: SHE IS THE ONE..right? because most when still have the idea that all men are in for 1 thing.
2) waiting for her until she is right.. is a wonderful thing to do for her.. wish there were more of your TYPE.. hehehe... but being romantic and spotanous would never hurt or for-shorting-one-love-to-the-other..because we women love that stuff. hehe.. good luck
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 May 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks alot 4 ur help, we've decided that we are just going 2 go ahead and have sex this weekend, we feel that yes we have had sex and that we are so in love that we feel its ok to do it b4 marraige and that it will help make our relationship stronger.p.s about the "she doing me thing", maybe 1 day, bt not ight now.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 May 2007): I would just say do whatever you feel comfortable with whenever you feel comfortable doing it and obviously you feel fine talking to your girlfriend about it, so I think you should just decide between you how far you want to go and when. Good luck + I hope you have a happy relationship.
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A
female
reader, penta  +, writes (16 May 2007):
 Okay, first -- anal sex is sex. She may be protecting her "cherry" but as far as I'm concerned you're neither one of you still virgins. People may disagree with me here, but that's my opinion. The good thing is that you can't get pregnant this way, so maybe this is a reason to keep from having actual intromission ("the insertion or period of insertion of the penis in the vagina in copulation"). But don't kid yourselves, you're having sex.
As for other things you can do, you can both use your hands in creative ways. You can get some sex toys and enter her that way. Or she can enter you that way (fair's fair). There's lots of stuff to do.
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A
female
reader, Suzie767 +, writes (16 May 2007):
 anal sex is still technically sex. i would say that by doing this act you have both lost your virginity to each other but i know what you mean
you could try using sex toys or aids (vibrators etc) alot of couples enjoy this but in the uk you have to be 18 to purchase these.
or suggest pornography to enhance your foreplay but be very careful not to hurt your partners feelings
there are lots of things you can do to turn each other on- just do whatever you enjoy
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 May 2007): don't put to much pressure on her or she'll feel like you're just after one thing. although forerplays good but it just makes you want more. if you truely do love her and she loves you then having sex will make your relationship stronger and more intense. we warned though its not all its made out to be and your first time will be uncomfortable. you shouldn't have to worry about sex, im 17 aswell and sex has already messed up my life and now i have an ex to count for it. You'll both know when the time is right.
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