A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My wife and I have been together 10 years and I am trying to figure out why sometimes sex with the same partner can be so blah and other times so incredible. Usually, for us, it's blah or double blah. I have a hard time making my wife cum and I want to be a better lover. However, my wife is quite shy about what she wants (I am not sure she even knows or can articulate it), so I thought I would ask for advice.I will say that the best sex we have ever had was after the wedding of one of her friends in Las Vegas. We dressed up black tie, mingled at the reception, danced, drank champagne and had a lovely time. When we got back to our hotel room my wife was uncharacteristically aggressive, pulling me to her and kissing me while she undid my tie. We kissed all the way to the bed, leaving a trail of clothing behind us like you see in the movies. I entered her standing and then pushed her down onto the bed and made love to her from behind. It was the most spectacular sex I have ever had. I had the best orgasm of my life and I don't know exactly how much my wife enjoyed herself, but I will say that there have only been two times she has moaned loudly during sex and this was one of them. I was afraid someone would complain, but I was having so much fun I didn't even care. We then collapsed on each other completely spent. From my perspective, what turned me on so much was her aggression. Her lust for me was so apparent and so raw. She is usually really reserved and to have her clawing at me on the way to the bed was a huge turn-on. However, I don't know how to bring that passion out in her regularly. She says she doesn't know what got into her.I am trying to figure out how to recreate some of that passion, excitement, and energy. We go to nice hotels a lot. We even spent time last summer in Paris and we dressed up and dined out and had a lovely time, but the sex was bad or downright non-existent. Same when we went to Kauai or NYC or Amsterdam or a cute little B and B in Oregon or... you get the idea. So I don't think it was the setting or the dinner or the dancing that made for the great sex. We have even attended other weddings, so I don't think that was it either. I wish I could bottle up whatever it was that we had that night, but it seems very hard to recreate.Are there certain things that you or your lover do either to create a mood or while in bed together that just drive you wild with lust? I am looking for ideas, because I want to experience that sort of passion more often. Gentlemen, what do you do to drive your lady wild? Ladies, what does your lover do that makes you insane with desire?
View related questions:
kissing, orgasm, shy, wedding Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Sparta +, writes (13 May 2011):
 I agree with Savannah; ever heard the saying "tease to please"?It goes a long way. And I dont mean just teasing in the bedroom; though that surelly helps when you can get your lover to beg for it. Teasing doesnt have to just take place in the bedroom however; it can be an all day occurence. Send her flowers. Kiss her passionatley then walk or run away without saying a word. Give her a massage. Rub the inner part of her thigh. Or hold her out of nowhere. Build up the anticipation for the finale. Worst sex is usually planned sex because you know exactly what and when it will happen. You want to be spontaneous; as savannah has said; do something naughty. With women you really have to get into their heads; because more so than anything a womens pleasure and turnons comes from emotions and their thoughts. Some women love to be talked dirty to, you'll find that going through the motions and no communication during sex at all can be stale for female partners; and some men alike. All I can say is mix it up; be naughty; play some games and have fun building to the moment :) will all pay off in the end.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 May 2011): Something that might help is a little bit of teasing! It can really spice up your love life, and make her want it so much to the point she has to have some aggression. However, don't do it too much or it's a buzz kill.
Before bed:
Be romantic and make sure you're making her comfortable. If girls are comfortable usually it will bring something more... kinky out of them. So, light some candles, make it clear that night is mostly about her, make her dinner, have a heart to heart talk with her even. Do things to please her, and she'll want to please you back.
Once you're in bed:
1. Put a pillow under her butt to get a better angle, and then when you're thrusting hard push *gently* in between her belly button and her vagina with your hand, this will help hit her g spot harder.
2. Change it up a bit, predictability is not a turn on in a sexual lifestyle. Every now and then change how fast you're going, this will give her a surprise and a little bit of a tease when you slow down after going fast.
3. Try some new things, and get kinky in the bedroom! One of the leading causes of boring sex is you're doing the same thing over and over, it's routine, and no longer exciting. You need to keep things fresh and new fo it to be pleasurable. Try: new lube, different positions, different places to have sex (pool, somewhere where you might get caught), head is still good (for both the boy and girl!), "toys" if you want to go that far. Use your imagination!
Good luck!
~Savannah
...............................
|
