A
female
age
41-50,
*ophieB
writes: I got drunk at a Halloween party. 2 days later I got a message from a guy at a party saying we had had a nice discussion though i was drunk and he was very friendly. i couldn't reslly remember him so I sent a friendly reply. we started talking a lot on Facebook messaging (he had looked me up). I looked at some posted photos and realised it was a guy I found attractive (but who is the boyfriend of a girl on my course) I am 30 and a single parent, he is 19. He agreed he did have agirlfriend but said he really liked talking to me etc. It turned into 20 texts a day, lots of kisses, him calling me and talking for over an hour the last two nights. I thought he really liked me , he said he was 'being sensible and needed to sort his life out, that he really liked me. His texts were very flirty 'you're really pretty/cool/special/wonderful, stay beautiful etc and stuff like 'goodnight gorgeous xxxxxx' and 'I miss you already xxx' sent 10 mins after we spoke. So, I thought he liked me. I thought he liked me too much, in a way. He also said he was shy, and that it took a lot for him to find me and send the first message.OK so last night ealy evening I went out with my son to get some shopping and he said text me as he was in town. When I did he said he had just got home and turned back around, we waited in a cafe. He came in and we had some drinks and he said he would walk us home. Anyway, I really like him, and I asked him to kiss me and he said 'no' he was 'being sensible'. He went later and text me about sth really stupid 'only a special girl like you would get her phone stuck in a chocolate cake (refering to an accident). His texts are often a bit childish, even though i think he is more mature thatn me in many ways. This morning as i hadn't replied he sent a msg with no kisses saying 'Not talking time anymore?'What is going on and what should I do. I really don't get it!! i may be 30 but am i reading this boy all wrong????? What does he want from me? He said he won't tell his girlfriend about me as i am 'v pretty and she will be paranoid'...so maybe he just wanted a friend? Love any help xxx
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drunk, facebook, flirt, shy, text Reply to this Question Share |
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female
reader, SophieB +, writes (14 November 2008):
SophieB is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for all advice. I spoke to him about it and he said he was really shy to hang out with me - his words. I did try to end it, as I know I am acting like a desperate woman, but he carries on with my morning texts and flirting and sad he can't stop talking to me as it will make him too sad. So I guess I'm back to square 1, really.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 November 2008): Sounds like he is either really indecisive or just leading you on. Either way, you two are at different stages of life maturity and chances are you aren't looking for the same things in a relationship. I doubt he, at 19, is ready to be involved with a mature woman who has children already and you don't need to hang your heart on someone who probably won't be a stable partner and is just looking for a bit of fun. I know there are exceptions to this rule but I have met very few 19-year-olds (either male or female) who are mature enough to be in a serious, committed relationship, let alone with someone much older. Find a nice guy who doesn't see you as a MILF/cougar/etc. and doesn't already have a woman in his life. Good luck
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A
female
reader, leni +, writes (13 November 2008):
at your age you should know he only wants a bit of fun...
more to the point, he has a girlfriend, so really you should ignore his texts. it may be flattering to have a nineteen year old's attention but he has a girlfriend and you have a kid so its probably best to forget it.
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A
male
reader, little_goth_bladez +, writes (13 November 2008):
well in my eyes i think tht all boys like me sometimes get a bit random in our texts he might like you as a friend or he might of started to like u but realise he in a relationship tht he cares about so maybe if u just try stay friends or somthing
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