A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:my bf and I were broke up for almost a month now, but we have been hanging out the past few days, and chatting..We were together for 3.5 years, and broke up because of communication basically. Anyway we had a lot of fights, and we both know we need to talk to fix it. But here's the thing,, i asked him today,,,well what are we doing, are we getting back together or what,, and his response was this...Why don't we try to take it slow..i mean like we won't see other people but we will just take it slow.. MY question is,,what the hell does that even mean..We were togteher for so long,, how do u "take it slow" is there some hiddening MAn meaning in this that i'm not seeing. One of my problems was that I didn't feel like he cared enough, and he told me he does, but its just hard to show sometimes when we fight so much, But I feel like this is just one more way of showing me that he doesn't fully care. i don't know i'm just so confused. I guess taking it slow is better than nothing at all.. But it just hurt to hear him say that,,,What are your thoughts on this...
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 June 2008): my boyfriend and I have been dating for a year and a half now and were actually living together but under his parents roof.....about 3 weeks ago I got an apartment with his sister and let him know that I wanted him to stay at his parents for awhile while I cleared my head.....it's only the third day that we've tried this but ALREADY it feels better....it didn't feel right us living together yet, it's obviously something I'm not ready for and was even pushing me away from how I truly felt about him. I felt like I was giving away my life to him already and I'm not ready to do that yet. I want to experience living on my own and having my OWN time before I'm ready to give him all of me....he is DEFINITELY the man I want to end up marrying but right now, I'm not ready for all of that stuff yet like I thought I would be.....this space that we are giving each other is actually turning out to be a really good thing....so just ride it out and be GLAD that he cares about you enough to want to basically TRY this all over with you....it shows he truly does LOVE you.....
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 June 2008): Yes I believe the last poster answer is correct.( A Male Reader)
It happened to me... and what he means by this is he does want to try but by him saying he wants to take it slow he doesn't want to rush into the same mistakes again and still cares for you and hopes by this you both may relax more and hopefully take the pressures off and hopefully the arguments will be less frequent as you both need to say whats on your mind and stop it building into a blazing row or one blaming the other for lack of attention.
I actually went back to the friends route and we started dating again once a week and suddenly we remembered why we got together in the first place ;-)
So relax and let it happen instead of wanting everything now...and don't forget men need to be the pursuer not feel pursued, it's in their nature. So try to lighten up and see how it goes for a while and then you will know if it's worth salvaging the relationship.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 June 2008): Hello, I believe it means he wants to break up permanently and does not want to hurt your feelings. My feelings are if you are in love, you are in it to win it and that means doing what it takes to resolve what ever issues brought about the distress or walking on.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 June 2008): why does it seem like he wants to play the field,, when i just said, that he clearly told me,, HE DOESN"T want us to see other people. He still wants us to do all the things we did before but slow down...
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A
male
reader, wildman  +, writes (14 June 2008):
 It sounds to me like he wants to play the field while keeping you on the hook. I think you should move on to someone who will respect you.
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A
male
reader, jay12toes +, writes (14 June 2008):
 he dousnt want to rush things out of fear that the 2 of you will end up exactly where you left off. thats what takeing it slow means. lets say you quickly put together a doll house, well because you didnt take you time and check for mistakes that doll house falls apart but then you pick up the peices and start again, this time takeing it slow and makeing sure every peice fits properly. your doll house fell apart so your man wants to take it easy to make sure that doesnt happen again. i love examples.
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