A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I have a question for you guys. I've met a girl and we've had wonderful times together. Recently she went to a different city for work. We still e-mail each other. In one of her e-mails, she says she is so happy she finally has a friend who will write to her more than "how are you?". In another e-mail, actually the one that followed the "how are you" thing, she said she's always made a mess of her life, but she's happy now that a series of wrong decisions led to meeting me. She says she feels that everything happens for a reason; and she also says that sometimes she feels this idea is s**t, but anyways feels happy about it. Is this a hint? I do like her and would like to be with her, but I would hate making a mistake. Please help! Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 July 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI am glad you two responded to my post. This is history now, but I wanted to check a few things in order to move on. I needed to step on solid ground, and now, thanks to you two (in part), that's where I am.
I did what Frank recommends, and went for her even if the signs were not that clear. So, I had a learning experience. I understand the meaning of Frank's words, and I share it. I have always accepted as true that "'Tis better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all"; so, I think "'Tis better to have tried and failed, than never to have tried at all".
The person in question said these were only signs of friendship. But, I liked the fact that Aunty Em, the female, and Frank, the male, had different views on it. That was exactly my point; there was a possibility that someone would take these actions to be a hint. I'm glad it was the female who saw things as I did.
By the way, I offered all of my support and help in what I perceived as insecurity. It didn't do any good.
But I'm in control of my heart now.
A
female
reader, AuntyEm  +, writes (18 July 2007):
She sounds very insecure about relationships, maybe she got hurt before? Its sounds like she may also be testing you. By suggesting that she feels things happen for a reason, then she thinks the idea is s**t, and then saying she feels happy, boy that sure is a huge swing of feelings to have. She might be looking for your responce as guidance about which way she should go over things. i.e. if you react positively, you will boost her confidence and if you react negatively, you will confirm her fears.
You still have the distance thing to over come too. I would say, give her a chance but go carefully, don't promise too much on things you cant deliver, be positive about your feelings and wait for her to open up a little about how she really feels. Also by going carefully and slowly, you can avoid making too many mistakes until you know this is right or wrong for you.
Good Luck with it and let me know how it turns out.
Aunty Em x
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A
male
reader, Frank B Kermit  +, writes (17 July 2007):
 Unless there is more to these interactions than you are writing here, I do not see anything here to indicate that she likes you as more than a friend. It couldn't hurt to suggest that the two of you meet up, but I do not see any real signs.I would suggest that you get over the idea of fear of being wrong. It will stop you from taking chances in life that could prove to be learning experiences when you are wrong, and good memory creations when you are right.-Frank B Kermit
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