A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Does my husband have a problem with drinking?i have been with my husband for 13 years.when we were 20 we drank at christmas,nights out or special occasions.this is the way its been for the past 12 and a half years.alchol never really interested us.6months ago my husband started buying a pack of six bottles at the week end (every week end) and said he felt like he deserved it.is gone from 6-8/10 every week end and if i dare mention that he is drinking bit too much he bites my head of,he says 'i deserve it as i've worked hard all week'.the week before last he got a 20pack and he had drank the lot in 5days and then bought 6 more to get him threw the weekend.i tried talking to him about it,but he refused to believe he drank that much and just would not listen to me,he got angry and we argued. i asked him if he could go a week end with out alchol and he went mad!!i was hoping that as we'd had been arguing about it he wouldnt buy any this week end but as usual he bought his pack of six,drank them in 2 days and got a big bottle for sunday!the drinking isnt like him and there is nothing i can think of or know of that would of made him start drinking like this.is 6-8 bottles of alchol a weekend-every weekend to much??
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female
reader, Cateyes  +, writes (17 July 2007):
 The answer to your question is yes. However, once being married to an alcoholic, I will agree from what "Frank B. Kermit" stated, that he may be having some work problems and/or even home problems that you may and may not be aware of and just not stated in your post or willing to admit. I say this only because it sounds like both of you didn't drink that much at all from what you said and "normally" if someone all of a sudden starts drinking alot, there is "normally" a problem behind it that they are not willing or wanting to face. I will say this, anytime you "tell" someone that they need to lay off, or stop drinking...they are going to do the exact opposite of what you tell them. As hard as it may seem, you will need to back off. HOWEVER, you must let him know how you feel and how it effects you and if you have a family, the family life at home and what it has done to all of you as a whole. I would do this when he is completely sober and has had no effect of alcohol in his system though. Otherwise, it's just arguing and he will forget what you said. If he so chooses to drink afterwards, he then should suffer any consequences that come from it. If he becomes violent, then, that is when you really need to worry about yourself and if you have any kids. PERIOD! Alanon helped me with much of what I experienced and had to go through. It's for families of alcoholics who have had to deal with the "drama". I use that word because that is what your life can become...and then can hate as well. Alanon is there for YOU, to help you in the bad times. If he chooses not to change, or get help if he really needs help - like AA, which I don't know if he IS an alcoholic, but if he continues, this is where only you can decide if you will be able to live like this, and once you tell him something, you MUST and I do mean this, MUST be strong in meaning what you say, otherwise, he knows he can "push" you over and he has "won" the battle.
IF you ever want to talk, I am always here..I have been in your shoe's and I know it's hard. Good Luck and Best Wishes to you.
A
male
reader, EC +, writes (17 July 2007):
I can only see this turning into 6-10 bottles everyday soon. You have to stand strong, him make him give it up. Let him know he's risking it all, his family, health and career. Look into Alanon, [sorry I'm not sure of the spelling.] That is a good place to help keep you sane and get good info. Good Luck
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A
male
reader, Frank B Kermit  +, writes (17 July 2007):
 You asked: is 6-8 bottles of alchol a weekend-every weekend to much??My answer: YES.He sounds like he is using the alcohol to escape. My guess is that he has come to really hate his job. Has something changed in his work environment that would make him miserable there? It sounds like it is the trigger. Is he in a position to change jobs?-Frank B Kermit
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 July 2007): I think you know that it is far too much. Since your husband won't listen to you, you might want to approach your doctor about it and perhaps contact Alcoholics Anonymous as well.Even if he refuses to recognize that he has an addiction, you still need support.
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