A
female
age
41-50,
*oney79
writes:Hi everyone, I hope you can help me with some ideas to the following situation. I met a wonderful man in the summer of 2009. We had this amazing connection you share with only a few people in your whole life. We have lots of similarities even though ´he is 20 years older than me (I'm 32). We both had very strong feelings for each other right from the beginnig, but he is (unhappily) married and wanted to give his marriage another try. I did undersatnd and respect that and did tell him that I also did not want to be the secret love affair of a married man. We texted from time to time but just to say hello. I did miss him a lot but was hoping for him to become happy again with his wife. He runs his own business and travels a lot also to Germany but could not do so in 2010 as he had a surgery and needed quite a long time to recover so that's why we did not see each other. To make a long story short: After 15 month he will come to Germany in four weeks time and he wants to come to see me. He has to travel 350 km just to see me for one evening (he said he will do so to make easier on me). He asked me to find him a hotel and now I don't know what to think. I am so happy to see him again but don't know what to think about it. I know he is still married (and still not happy) but I also know that he thinks a lot before he makes a decision. What does it mean that he travels all that way just to see me? Is it just to see a friend or probably more? Would love to know what you think!
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affair, married man, text Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Honey79 +, writes (21 April 2011):
Honey79 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you phoenic. I will see and try to bring it up. Sounds like the best way to clear the situation without hurting each others feelings. Let's see how it works!
A
male
reader, the_phoenic  +, writes (17 April 2011):
you are more than a friend = i have feelings to youand with this smooth chemistry between the both of you it would be.. i love you .. in no time so be carefullwhy dont you both talk about this issue try to bring it upand talk about itas talking about it may slow down the chemisrty without affecting your feelings toward each otherGood Luck Again
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A
female
reader, Honey79 +, writes (16 April 2011):
Honey79 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you everyone for your answers. It really helps to get some ideas from outside the box and I think your are absolutely right with all you said. The problem is that I don't know what's gonna happen when I will see him. I have to admit that I would love to be with him but I know that anything more than friendship will only cause trouble and heartaches for me. I'll keep you posted how the story continues. @ the phoenic: I remember a message I got from him in 2009 saying you are more than a friend to me (thanks for reminding me). I just wonder what does it mean if a man says that? What is more than a friend if you are not having an affair???
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A
female
reader, Honey79 +, writes (16 April 2011):
Honey79 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you everyone for your answers. It really helps to get some ideas from outside the box and I think your are absolutely right with all you said. The problem is that I don't know what's gonna happen when I will see him. I have to admit that I would love to be with him but I know that anything more than friendship will only cause trouble and heartaches to me. I'll keep you posted how the story continues.
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A
male
reader, the_phoenic +, writes (16 April 2011):
they say
friendahip oftenly turns to love
but love to friendship never
i think you mean more than a friend to him
but you have to be carefull
because continuing in this well end you up into a secret affair with this married man
Good Luck
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 April 2011): He has chosen to stay with his wife, so that pretty much tells you where his true feelings are. But its nice he wants to go and see you. Just treat his visit as a friends visit. Dont be tempted to sleep with him. You have told him you are not prepared to be his side dish in life, so dont let yourself down by giving him more.
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