A
male
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anonymous
writes:Can someone tell me what it feels like to have a partner with a much higher sex drive / interest in sex, preferably from someone who has been in such a position.I have a higher sex drive than my bf. For the first 18 months I thought we had very similar sex drives as we seemed to want it as much as each other, both initiate etc. The three years after that have been a struggle for me as I want it as much as it was back then and he wants it a great deal less.What really makes my heart ache is the way he avoids it. It makes me feel like I am trying to entice him into something bad and he has to avoid it. I just can't understand where he is coming from.He will pull away, avoid pasionate kissing, be busy, have a headache, have something else he HAS to do. I feel he brushes me off like you'd brush an insect away from your face and it pains me. In loving him I could never do that to him yet he does it so routinely and I think without even thinking. He is otherwise a wonderful loving man.Thanks x
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female
reader, lexilou  +, writes (13 August 2008):
 I have been at both sides of this.
Sex drives do change, sometimes naturally and other times due to things going on in your life. My ex hubbie used to hit me and obviously I stopped loving him and I NEVER wanted sex the last 4 years of our marriage. The reason I used to push him away was that he pressured me so much, telling me I was having sex later, only ever being intimate with me if he wanted it, assuming that if I got into bed fully naked I was up for it etc etc. He would never kiss me, hold my hand in public or just give me a hug. The lengths I went to in order to avoid sex were amazing, I would tell him I had thrush (I didnt), I would tell him my periods lasted 10 days (they only last 2-3), I would tell him I had a smear test and couldnt have sex for a week before. I feel sick thinking about how smarmy he was now when he wanted it.
Fast forward a few years, newly divorced and with a raging libido, I was up for it all day every day. New boyfriend kept up for a few months and then he started making excuses. I cant have sex just before I go to work as I will need to sleep straight afterwards etc etc. He was a good few years older than me too and said he was tired all the time. I used to get so frustrated and angry, just like my ex hubbie did with me!!
Me and new hubbie are well matched, have a lot of really good sex but dont feel disappointed if one of us says Id rather have a hot cocoa thanks!!
Talk to your boyfriend, find out if anything is going on in his life right now to make him feel this way, it could be stress or financial worries, or it could be you are pressuring him about sex which puts him off x
A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 August 2008): I know how you feel. My husband and I just went through the same problem not to long ago. I don't suggest not having sex when he wants, because that will just make him think you are cheating. Trust me. He may feel as if that is all you want, and feel like your personal sex toy. He respects and loves you, and doesn't want to hurt you, but he doesn't know how to show you any other way that he wants your relationship to built on more than just sex. He may have had a higher sex drive at the beginning, that's simply because at the point and time he didn't love you. He lusted for you. Try and talk to him, it may help both of you. Hope I've helped you out.
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A
female
reader, Dreamie Tofu  +, writes (13 August 2008):
My Boyfriend has a Highly higher sex drive than me He would want it every time we see each other. For example if he just comes toward me and he gets close i grab his jewels its hard...haha..he also gets hard when i talk to him on the phone. But luckily he doesnt get hard when we are around other people. Anyways.
From what you are saying i was wondering if you guys go toward the same routine every time you have sex with your man if so he might be getting bored. Try something new every time!
If that is not the problem it can also be that he is stressing or he has something in his mind and you should sit down with him and talk to him about how both of you guys feel so you'll know why he isn't in to it or why he is pushing you away
Third..can be depressing..but He might be loosing feelings or something but you DONT know and I surely dont know so dont take this one to heart.
But i know that if you really want to know the answers to why your boyfriend is acting like this instead of listening to say our answers you should listen to your boyfriends. =]
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