A
female
age
36-40,
*onfuzzled_in_cville
writes:i go through my boyfriends phone every so often just to see he's behaving himself, he hasn't done anything to warrant me not trusting him but im afraid of getting hurt. I sorta cheated on him twice, no sex. so im going through his texts and he's talking to someone about relationships and he said 'i lost her along time ago'. what does this mean?
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female
reader, confuzzled_in_cville +, writes (11 September 2008):
confuzzled_in_cville is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthankyou for the advice. yeah i know what i did was wrong but right nowim feeling very insecure. he's turned into a total different person that i didn't fall in love with. for the most part he's been with me and only for the pqast 5 years, with barely any friends. now he has this social life and hes never around. he knows the times i cheated and i asked him to tell me if he ever cheats on me cause hes evening the score.
my worst fear is that he's never loved me and hes only wiht me cause he's using me. he lives with me in my moms house, rent free, my mom bought him a car, she pays his cell phone bill, he's got the good life. i just dont want to be hurt. understnd
A
male
reader, The Listener +, writes (10 September 2008):
 Firstly, it is completley wrong that you go through his phone. No one has the right to break someone else's privacy, no matter how close they are, and it's disrespectfull. If anything, he should be checking on you! You are the one that has cheated on him not once but twice, and honestly it would be better for him if he realised that he lost you a long time ago.You are afraid of getting hurt? You are the one who has hurt him twice (assuming he knows of your infidelity) and that is still no right to go through his phone. You should stop worrying what he means by his texts and start trying to be a better girlfriend.And rainbowcupcakes is right, if he is talking about you he may be talking about you cheating on him and how he feels like he lost you when you did so. The only way to really find out is to ask him yourself, but then you'd have to admit to going through his phone. Either way it looks like you are going to end up getting hurt (through worrying about what he means or through him being mad that you go through his phone) but i suppose you deserve it for doing such a thing in the first place.Sorry to sound harsh but I can't be nice with someone who obviously has strong trust issues and other people suffer because of it.
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A
female
reader, rainbowcupcakes +, writes (10 September 2008):
i think its wrong that u go through your boyfriends phone.
Though if he IS talking about you, he probably means by the fact that he thinks he lost you because u cheated on him. People usually cheat because they're lacking something. So i think it is that!
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (10 September 2008):
I'm not going to help you interpret something that is private and you have no business going through.
You have no idea what the context is.
In my mind though he was talking about his cat that ran off and was chatting to an old friend who asked if he still had her.
Good Luck!! xx
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