A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Well, I dunno how to start but I really need help. I'm 21 and the one I like is 22. We are from the same city. His house is close to mine, but we barely can meet as it is against the traditions in our country. Moreover, he studies in the states, so there is a big timing difference, I made the first move and I sent him a " hello" in his FB", and then we ended talking in the messenger. However, when he came here, he started to text me and call me everyday. We even went out once " cos it is hard to do this in our country ". He even kissed me. So, after like two months, I asked him " where do we stand ?". Are you serious with me ?He was like " I can't tell. I dunno what will happen when I go. It might turn out to be serious one day. It might not be. He was kinda shocked of the Q and didn't know what to say. And then when he got back to the US. Everything went so cold like we've never known each other! And after like month, he popped to me in MSN messenger saying " What's up ? " . And I told him. Thanks for not sending me messages. He was like " WHAT ?". I send you messages and you're the one who ignored!! Anyways, things just started to get cold. And we stopped talking for three months. Later one, I called him telling him that " I miss him " and stuff. And told him to text me when he comes here for the summer. He texted me when he came as I told him. But sometimes he doesn't call when I tell him to, and I feel like he treats me like a dude over the phone :S. I mean if he doesn't like me, why would he text me when he's here ? sometimes call ?He doesn't even talk about sex or anything like that at all!! What does he want from me then ? I'm so confuse. Help me!!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 July 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks both of ya, for being honest with me.
But, I'm ust saying why would he send me messages if he doesn't care ? And how can I know if he cares about me just one bit ?
It's just that I want you to know that he hasn't been in serious relationships before, so he's not used to girls that much.
I just love him so much, and I dunno why. It's been 8 months!
Shall I tell him how I feel ? And that if he doesn't wanna talk anymore then I can stop ? :(
A
male
reader, Your friend  +, writes (12 July 2009):
 You need to move on. If he understands your culture he should have known that he is putting you at risk when he meets you and that kissing is a sign of commitment as you would know. Even if you match up how do you explain this to your family? they will not accept a relationship that was created on the net and have certain expectations about who you marry anyhow And if he takes you back to his country what will happen to you if things don't work out, you are playing a high risk game that can have some very serious consequences.. Putting this aside the way you have described your up and down distance relationship does not indicate a person who wants to commit.
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