A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:So I've had this Friend with benefits thing with a guy for almost 4 months and I'm confused by what he really wants. I'm a single, never married 29 yr old mother to one 4 yr old. He's 33 yr old recently divorced father of 3 young kids (ages 1, 4 and 7).We met while both being at a friends party. We ended up hooking up that night, and continued seeing eachother to present day. He made it clear to me one day that he wasn't ready for a formal relationship and didn't want to send me mixed signals by taking me out, when he misunderstood something I had said, which I asked nothing close to what his response was. But he has bought me things (longerie, shoes, etc.), invited me to go places, told me he doesn't want me seeing other guys and tells me not to cheat on him, asks 20 questions whenever I go out, like who I went with, where we went, and always asks if I hooked up with anyone. Whenever we're together he gives me 100% attention, and we always cuddle after great sex. I do like him a lot, but I don't let my true feelings show. I always brush it off when he says things like not cheating on him and not seeing other guys. Why does he do this? Does he really have feelings for me, or just a jealous guy that doesn't want his "friend" to see other guys? What's your opinion?
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female
reader, bootyboot +, writes (9 March 2009):
if he is taking you out all the time and treating you like a gf, but without then title, then i think personally that you are his gf, he just doesn't want to admit it for fear of responsibility and such. men seem more likely to do this behavior than women.
now, you mentioned he is recently divorced. divorce can really affect someone's willingness to seriously date, and still it is still fresh for him, he is hesitant. if you like this guy, and you think he is treating you right and he isn't just hanging out for sex, then give him time, he might come around. i say if he is still pussyfooting around after a year, then it's time to move on, he should have gotten over his divorce phobia by then.
also, beware, you may be a rebound girl. often these relatinships can disguise themselves as a very close friends with benefits situation, but he is just using you. just tread lightly and don't get too wrapped up in him yet. good luck, love is a tough game.
A
female
reader, Plexi  +, writes (9 December 2008):
 Guys are always afraid of commitment and often need to enter a relationship SLOWLY like getting into a hot bath, one foot at a time. Maybe I'm wrong but it sounds to me like you guys have more then just a fwb relationship. As far as his jelousy, i was once told my a male friend of mine that every man wants every woman just for himself:) You guys are in a relationship its just not official, if you like him as a person and you want more don't push him, he needs to be the one to ask for that, go slowly, many relationships strt out this way. Try not to get the kids involved too much though, you don't want them attaching just in case its not going to last.
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