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What does he mean when he says he has fallen for me but doesn't want a relationship?

Tagged as: Dating, Friends, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (29 October 2007) 4 Answers - (Newest, 30 October 2007)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

hiyyya, i'm really baffled a little help can go a lonnnnng way in makin me feel more LESS confused haha

welllll... i've liked this lad for a while and only recently found out that he likes me back! :D

massive complication though :(

he's been texting me everyday and we talk in college and stuff then at this party we got closer and he kissed me and danced with me allll night, it was amazing :D

but he told me that he doesn't want a relationship, but never said why :S he said that he's fallen for me and it's him it's not me :S

he said he wants us to stay the way we are, but i don't understand what he means by any of it! can anyone make any of this out? i'm really confused and i don't know what to do :(

thanks alot :):) x

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A reader, anonymous, writes (30 October 2007):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

thanku for the help :):) it does clarify a few things for me believe it or not x

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A reader, anonymous, writes (29 October 2007):

He may just want to party and not have the heavy and deep stuff just yet, which is ok if you both want that.

take care

xxx

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A female reader, tulipdame United States +, writes (29 October 2007):

The way I see it is - its a good thing. A relationship really means sex. If he is saying he doesn't want one it might mean he doesn't want you for sex. You are both still so young, you really have to define what a relationship means to you before you start saying you want one and he doesn't. Do you want to get married to him? No right? So where do you see your "relationship" leading? If he likes you back than that's good. But just stay friends until you both figure out what you want in life and out of each other. Taking things too fast ruins things too, especially sex.

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A female reader, LethalInjection-x United Kingdom +, writes (29 October 2007):

LethalInjection-x agony auntThere could be several reasons why he said that, and there's no way of knowing which one it is without him telling you really.

He may not want to be tied to someone else at the moment, maybe he has lots of other things "on his plate" already, things at home, college stuff, friends etc.

It could be that he doesn't want to ruin a friendship either. It's always awkward when you've spent time together and the idea of progressing is put forward. You mentioned him saying he wanted you to stay the way you were, which seems to me like this is the reason for it.

Or he may have had bad experiences in relationships before as well.

It's hard to say really.

If I were you I'd keep spending time with him like you have been already, as you seem to be thoroughly enjoying it currently, so it'd be a shame to end that simply because he doesn't want a relationship.

After a while he may even change his mind anyway.

I hope that helps :]

Xxx

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