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age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: Is it normal to have less than 2 sexual partners and to settle with one long term boyfriend by the age of 20? I don't mean to generalize, but many people my age treat sex like it's no big deal, having multiple one night stands. I don't like the idea of sharing my body with someone I don't know. I've only had 4 sexual experiences, where I only had sex with 2 of the four guys. And I knew all of them. And yet I still feel a little dirty. I know some girls who have had maybe 10 or 12 sexual partners (not that there's anything wrong with that). My question is: is it necessry to have many partners by a certain age to gain experience (sexually), and to possibly change as a person? I haven't been in the dating pool AT ALL and am currently with my high school boyfriend (2 years). We're both nearly 20. I'm just curious because I don't feel the need to do it but I do admit I'm kind of feeling the pressure because of people my age. If I don't have 20 sexual partners by the age of 40, will it necessarily make me a less developed person (physically and emotionally)?? I'm also asking because I'm wondering what goes through my bf's head when he knows I was his first and only, and if he wonders what else is out there (since his friends have had multiple sex partners). I trust he loves me but I think everyone wonders once in a while!Thank you for any inputs :)
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 December 2011): "If I don't have 20 sexual partners by the age of 40, will it necessarily make me a less developed person (physically and emotionally)?"Quite the opposite actually often happens.I've had only 3 sexual partners in my life, only kissed three girls in my life as well...all my partners.No regrets, none, and my wife enjoys sex with me more than she ever has with anyone else in her life (after nearly 20 years), and she had plenty to compare me to.It seems like nearly everyone that I know has a lot of regrets, and the more partners the more regrets.Does everyone wonder once is a while what someone else would be like? I'm sure they do. I've wondered about every single attractive woman I've ever met, before and since I got married...but I've never cheated and never will.Treat you bf like he's the cat's meow, and expect the same from him and don't count the trauma you haven't missed.Adamantine makes a good point about numbers. I know people who have had buku numbers of partners but can't maintain a relationship with one and they have sex when and where they can get it. I have sex at home, although I could get it elsewhere as well if I wanted, but I have it with one partner, and have had sex with her many, many, many more times than any prior partner has had with her....and perhaps that is why she has orgasms with me and never was able to have them with anyone else.
A
female
reader, adamantine  +, writes (12 December 2011):
 I lost my virginity to my boyfriend a couple of days after my 20th birthday.
My friend has slept with 4 guys, but only had sex once with each of them. So that's 4 times total.. She doesn't remember their names. But just because she has had sex with more people than myself doesn't make her more experienced. I've had sex with my boyfriend many, many times. So where does that leave me?
I think it's much more fulfilling to have a sexual relationship with someone you love and trust, rather than to just spend time having meaningless sex with people you'll never see again.
If you honestly don't feel comfortable with your boyfriend being your only sexual partner, don't string him along. If you loved him completely, you wouldn't be having second thoughts, same goes for your boyfriend. You guys should be comfortable with each other now enough to know what you want.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 December 2011): sorry but think if you have settled with one for long time and have loved him very deep and after a while if you come to know that 'he had many encounters/affairs like you said' how do you accept him, it will be hell for you at that time, so think before doing such thing, here on this website you can see many examples who are going through the pain.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 December 2011): Look up the statistics on how more past sex partners affects the odds of your marriage lasting in the long term. The message of that data is pretty clear.
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A
male
reader, Odds  +, writes (12 December 2011):
 In my experience, the most mature and emotionally stable girls are the ones who good at finding decent men, and who only have sex with those men within established relationships. There are obviously other factors in determining maturity, but those veer off of the topic a bit.
You're making the right call. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 December 2011): "If I don't have 20 sexual partners by the age of 40, will it necessarily make me a less developed person (physically and emotionally)??"
How you develop as a person has nothing to do with having multiple sex partners. There are no rules for this. Just do what you feel is best for you.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 December 2011): Stick to your values. Guys want a woman like you for a life partner. Most men do not want to marry women who engage in one night stands and who have had many partners (gross!). Men like women who engage in one stands only for one night.:)
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 December 2011): I don't think there's such thing as "normal" when it comes to this, just what works for you! I'm nearly 20 and I've only ever had one boyfriend (we're still together). I'm not his first, but he is mine - and hopefully he'll be my only :) People say I'm too young and haven't dated enough to know he's the one I want to spend the rest of my life with, but hey, they aren't me. At the end of the day, I'd rather have one meaningful relationship in my life than numerous superficial ones. That's just me though. I believe it's different for everyone. Hope this helps a bit x
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 December 2011): Am twenty three and only ever slept with my current bf and am my bf frist we was both twenty three when we lost are virgintly and all sexual stuff togeether x do I feel am missing out no because I wanted it to be with not many people and I respect my self x when am older and I have kids off my own I want to be able to tell them to repects themselves and their bodys but I don't know how I could ask them if I myself didn't when I was younger x am not saying that thuse that sleep around are wrong because it their bodys their lifes :) I just think everybody sexual parters and number etc is an indivual person thing and it not a compitions or a need to be with lots or little it everyone personal chocie as long as your happy with your own desions :)
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