A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:I had been in a relationship with a friend for a month and today we broke up. For a while I could sense something wasnt right, and today I asked him if he still wanted to be in the relationship (because i did). At first he started saying that he dosent know because we are so different. He said I would be 'better off with a guy who liked blink 182 or something' (blink 182 is one of my favourite bands). I told him that I dont see us having different music taste being a big problem. Then he said that it wasnt that, it was more so the fact that he lives so far away.You see I live in town, and he lives right out of down (about 30 minutes out) and for people who come from where we live- thats a fair while. He doesnt have his lisence so he relies on his parents to drive him. So we didnt get to see each other very often. I told him that i understand its hard for him to see me alot but i was ok with that because i really like him and i know its not like his choice to not see me much. He said he thought it wasnt fair on me to be in a realtionship like this and he knows i want more and he thinks i deserve more too. He said i should be with a guy who can be a proper bf, not one who can only be there for me half of the time.I didnt push for us to stay together, i basicaly just said to him that i am willing to try and make things work because i think they could if we tried...but he said he doesnt see them working cuz it hasnt really workeed so far. Im really sad now. And i guess what my question here is, do you think his reasons for ending it was a lame excuse? Or do you think he really thought he was 'doing right by me'? Part of me thinks he was just saying he was doing what was best for me because he didnt want to hurt my feelings by saying he doesnt like me anymore...i mean if he really liked me i think we could of made it work.what do you guys think?i just need to know to be able ot get some closure. i have known him since feb this year, we were friends for a fair while before dating. we are both 18.
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female
reader, peaches83  +, writes (2 November 2007):
 I think he did it in a nice way to be honset. By telling you the way he did he though he was doing the right thing for you however with out realising he was doing it for himself.
He thinks its not fair on you that he lives so far away and doesnt get to see you.
Do you go to his place??
I thinkif he wanted to be in the relationship he would have tried to make it work as you were willing to, but you can see that he had different ideas and the fact that you left on mutual terms and didnt do it in a bad way leaved the door open for future things ie friendship and also the possibility that you may get back together at some point if either of you decide that it is what you really want.
Good luck
Peaches
A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 November 2007): I don't think it could be called a lame excuse, but I do feel he doesn't want the relationship to progress any further, and he was telling you in the nicest way he could think of, without wishing to hurt your feelings, that it's over.
He may realise he's made a mistake later, you never know.
You'll get over it in time. It's a great healer.
Phil
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