A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hello there, I would just like to ask people what they think of open relationships.. Do they really ever work?Interested to hear about experiences and or opinions of any type of open relationship. Are there certain conditions under which they work better? Can open relationships turn into monogamous relationships? Can you love one person and have sex with multiple others without hurt?What would you think if someone you were involved with said they want to have an open relationship but that means they want to share their life with lots of people, not their bed? The guy I'm seeing has said this from the start, but it's weird to me because he's not got a high libido AT ALL. I think he's possibly still hurt from the failure of his previous long term relationship.. Regardless of those circumstances, I am interested in the concept of open relationships in general as it does seem to me that monogamy isn't a particularly successful relationship model either.
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male
reader, shawncaff  +, writes (22 May 2011):
 Calling such an arrangement an "open relationship" to me is a gross and crass description.
A real open relationship is where both people are able to be "open" with each other--emotionally, intellectually and physically.
A relationship where the two partners are involved with others as well really means they are being closed with one another. It is FAR from a real open relationship.
Why would any two people not want to grow in their relationship with one another? Growth means taking chances in revealing parts of yourself to someone you trust, sharing thoughts, feelings, ideas. If you are hopping from person to person, you are not growing. Your relationship will become stale.
A mighty oak grows from a single seed planted in a secure soil. If the seed is constantly being dug up and planted someone else, nothing is going to grow. The same holds true for intimacy between two people.
A
female
reader, DanceInTheDark  +, writes (22 May 2011):
 Well in my opinion, the majority of people can't get them to work successfully. But the people who DO manage to get open relationships to work successfully for both partners, tend to have the strongest relationships.
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A
female
reader, Dear Mandy +, writes (22 May 2011):
 Hi
Personally I feel why be in a relationship in the first place if you want sex with other people? It dont make sense to me. If your single you can do as you please without hurting anyone. But to start sleeping around when your in a relationship because one is not enough for you then someone is bound to get hurt in the end. Dont get me wrong Im no prude, but I find in todays society everyone is just far to greedy in everything. I would love to go back to the 40's when people had self respect, and respected others. stayed faitfull, and when they said I do they meant it. But thats just my opinion. each to their own!
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A
female
reader, maverick494 +, writes (21 May 2011):
From my POV, they can't work out. In my opinion a relationship is something that binds two people together. They share eachother's love, which is also expressed through sex. Having sex with someone else while in a relationship undermines the entire relationship in my opinion. It puts you right back in single status, where you can sleep around because you're not tied to anyone. I also think that sleeping with someone else that is not your partner during a relationship is disrespectful towards the partner. Obviously, what he or she has to offer is not enough because you need a fuck buddy on the side. In a nutshell, an open relationship to me is a relationship where both parties are either afraid to take full responsibility. They try to have it both ways: the single life with the benefits of a relationships. These two things don't mesh well. It can only work if both people are completely on the same wavelength and both want the same thing. If one of them feels uncomfortable with the idea of their loved one sleeping with someone else, it's doomed to fail.
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A
female
reader, Gherkinsaregrim  +, writes (21 May 2011):
I would personally feel really rejected if someone asked me to enter into an open relationship!
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