A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Why am I so sensitive? Any time I go through a break up it takes me ages to get over them. My most recent relationship only lasted 9 months, but we were very close and we were in love. We had to end the relationship back in September because she was moving to university. That was back in September and I still can't seem to get her out of my head. We're no longer friends on social networking websites, but if I even see so much as a comment she's made on a friend of mine's wall I immediately feel this panicky feeling and have to change the page. She's been seeing someone for the past few months, so I know she's moving on. I have been in a new relationship for the past couple of months as well, so then why does my ex still have this affect on me?Can anyone shed some light on this?
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a break, my ex, university Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 May 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThat sounds like a great idea, we actually have booked a little camping trip in the summer, I'm sure we'll have a nice time. I just hope I'm a bit stronger by then because it really isn't fair on my new partner. I accept that me and my ex breaking up is a positive thing and I'm past the stage of wanting her back. I guess that's why I feel confused - I don't love her any more, yet it still hurts to think about her. It's so weird!
A
female
reader, Dear Mandy +, writes (23 May 2011):
 Hi
Your ex Gf obviously made a big impact ony your life, you shared many things together, and had many intimate times togeher. It will be hard to just forget these times, as before your finished with eachother you probally felt there was so much more to give. The best thing you can do is block her on all the sites she is on ,You wontt see her on any walls then, and she cant see you. This will help you to get her out of your mind, so you can stop worrying. You once loved this girl, so it is only natural that you would have old feelings resurface when you see her. You wouldn't be human if you didn't. You sound like a very loving man with a big heart, I am pleased you are now happy with your new Gf, but why dont you take her on a weekend trip, just the two of you, away from all computers. This will remind you why you fell for her, and also help you remove thoughts from your mind of your Ex.
xx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 May 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the advice. Don't get me wrong, it isn't as though I think about my ex constantly or anything and I genuinely am happy with my new partner. It's just a bit of a concern more than anything else. I'm sure my ex can see what I'm up to and know how I'm doing without it being an issue, whereas for me it is. I hate even seeing pictures of her and it seems so childish. How can I stop feeling this way?
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A
female
reader, Dear Mandy +, writes (22 May 2011):
Hi
I think it's a case of what you cant have you want it even more. I dont doubt you loved this girl, but your in another relationship already, so you have not given yourself enough time or space to get over her properly. If you still have these feelings for your ex, I would advise you to end it with your currant girlfriend, as this is not fair on her. I think you are the kind of guy that does NOT like to be alone, so you date the first girl who shows an interest to you, so you can feel loved. I myself used to be the same, I hated being alone, watching everyone happy and laughing away with their partners, And I had no-one to go home with. But I have now been on my own for 2 yrs and love it :) I know who I am, and where I am going in life now, so the next person I fall inlove with will be true to my heart. Maybe you should have your time out too. who knows what the future holds :)
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