A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:What do you do when your partner doesn't want sex as often as you do and isn't willing to change?I am in a long term gay relationship. After a few years of being frustrated and rejected I broke it off as I couldn't take it any more. My sex drive is extreme while my boyfriend's is maybe average. He is happy with once maybe twice a week and only when he wants to.Anyway we went to see a councillor and the resolve was three times a week. He said no but a few hours later changed his mind. Awesome!However now months have passed and we have NEVER had sex three times in one week. I would like it once or twice a day but this was me trying to be reasonable, knowing that I am probably sexually overdone and trying to compromise.Whhat do I do now? I feel like he just lied to get back together. He either never intended to be more intimate, or he intended to but never did. There probably isn't much difference as either way it seems a bit uncaring. I feel hurt and upset. I do whatever for him and I ask that he have sex with me and apparently I ask too much :(
View related questions:
get back together, sex drive Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 December 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHey thanks for the responses.
I masturbate just about every day and have never been pushy or forceful. I get the whole in the mood thing but I also think (maybe I am wrong) that you can get into the mood if you want to. I think I am respectful as anyone could be. I don't ask, I don't demand, I don't complain, I don't anything! Masturbating dims my desire a bit but it doesn't get rid of it.
Masturbating in his presence is something I have never tried but I'll try and give it a go!
Modnarblue - Sorry to hear you're in the same situation. For me it has been the most dissapointing turn my life has taken. Found a great guy and everything (sex included) was perfect. Like you we moved in together and it went from multiple times a week to once a fortnight. It has improved since then but nothing like what it was. As you surmised I have always had a high sex drive and his was I thought similar but it turns out it wasn't but he had sex more than he felt like for my benefit but I never knew that then.
A
male
reader, modnarblue  +, writes (22 December 2009):
I don't have an answer for you man, I just want to let you know that there are other men in the same situation and that I feel for you. Before my partner and myself lived together we had sex between 5 and seven times a week. Since moving in together it dropped to maybe once or twice a week if I'm lucky. Same as you I would love to have it at least once a day more if possible. I feel for you man.
This part is for LilPixie: I am sure the guy that wrote the msg had the same sex drive from day one in the relationship, so he is not the one to blame. Just the way he has to respect the fact that the other person does not want sex, respect should come from the other side as well and that person should realise that the person that he is with have needs. It is not a one-way street. Respect has to be shown from both sides. I have never just "f*&ked" my lover. It is always passionate. Never just a quicky. If it is the same with that guy, that means that the passion is dying from the other side not his. His lover should have a look at himself and either start putting out or getting out of the relationship and stop wasting his time. This guy could be spending time with somebody that actually wants to be with him.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2009): try masturbating wen you want sex and he doesnt make sure your arouund him and it might turn him on and want sex with you just dont push him into something he doesnt want to do i feel the same in my gay relshionship my sex drive is very high and i masturbate just about every day i masturebate around my boyfriend and it totally turns him on gudluk
...............................
A
female
reader, LilPixie  +, writes (7 December 2009):
 To be honest, I think you're being a little selfish here! It doesn't matter if someone is in gay/lesbian or straight relationship, if you're partner doesn't have as high of a sex drive as you, you have to respect that. You can't force him into it, because 1. being intimate won't be anything special and 2. he probably won't to have sex at all if you try to force him. How about trying masturbating when you're really in the mood for sex but he isn't in the mood? I think this is just about your only option if you want to stay with him! And if this isn't for you, then I think he'd be better off with someone who respects him how he his and doesn't try forcing him into something he doesn't want to do!
...............................
|
