A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I've been seeing this guy for over a year long-distance (I'm American, he's English). We have yet to meet, but will be shortly (I'm flying there). We have literally everything in common; I have seriously never met anyone like him before. He's the type that makes me blissfully happy every time we chat and see each other through webcams.He's in his 60s and I'm 26. He's also divorced. I've had some friends of mine tell me to not go on this trip, as you don't know what he's like, he obviously likes you cause you're young, what do you see in him, blah blah blah. My family does not know about him as I know the "outside" things (his age, where he's from, how we've met) would freak them out and they'd probably disown me. I'm waiting until the right time to tell them.My question is has anyone been in a relationship that their family and friends did not approve? How did you go about this to let them see that you're truly in love? I expected such a reaction eventually, but the words of my friends downright stung and I've been a miserable, crying wreck all night. I love this man with all my heart and cannot picture my life without him.
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (14 June 2010):
 I think you can't have it both ways.
It's true that you are an adult and you are free to make your own choices,as debatable as they may look to other people ( and yes, dating someone who is 40 years older than you ,lives thousands of miles from you and you only know him through Internet looks like a debatable choice ) . On the other hand , you can't really demand that your family and friends are overjoyed and sing in choir Halleluja Halleluja.
If you are confident about the strength of your feelings and you think this relationship is a good idea, then by all means go ahead . But don't demand that all the rest of the world thinks it's a good idea too.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 June 2010): I've been in a relationship a bit similar to yours. I met this guy online and he was 6 years old than me. He was in college and I was in high school. We lived really close to each other and decided to go out on a date. So we finally met and I didn't want my parents to find out AT ALL!! I knew they would freak out and everything.He was a complete gentleman, bought me all kinds of stuff, took me to places, I loved him..My mom found out (but doesn't know that I met him online) and told me it was completely wrong for me to date him but she still let me only on conditions, and then she told my dad too.Only 2 of my bestest friends knew that I met him online. One of my friends went totally CRAZYYY and told me that she thought it was wrong and I need to be careful.My mom told her boyfriend's grandaughter about me and this guy and how he was in college, and she immediatley told me I should break up with him and this coming from a girl who got pregnant at 18 and barely even knew me and about the situation, I wanted to slap her soooo badly.But eventually I gave into all the pressure of people telling me it was wrong. I broke up with him, but felt sooo bad because he was so innocent and asked me what he did wrong for me to break up with him. I didn't want to tell him people were saying I should break up with him, but yeah we broke up after that.Well what I'm trying to say is that eventually you'll break and decide you can't do this, but yeah 26 and 60 is a pretty big age difference and you may never know, once you get there he may abandon you. Think of the consequences before you do them. Hope that helped (:
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