A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:My 18 year old daughter just moved home for the summer, she has been away at school for the last year. She asked if she could invite a friend home for the week and we said yes. She seemed like a nice girl , friendly and they seemed to get along great. We have a family room in our basement and the friend was sleeping down there. This afternoon when I came home for lunch I went down stairs to see if the girls wanted me to make them some lunch and I accidently walked in on them. They were both naked and my daughter was performing oral sex on her. I walked upstairs without them seeing me. When I came home from work today I couldnt look at them, should I tell my daughter what I seen??
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female
reader, samyum  +, writes (8 June 2010):
 No dont tell
Does it really matter you wont change the way they feel they might just be experimenting??
It is still your daughter & we will never agree totally with every single partner they bring home or are spending time with
Although we dont approve they are still our blood and we wouldnt want anyone to hurt them
Everyone is different thats what makes this world and us so unique
We dont have to approve but trust me on this I have seen it with my sister DONT hold it against them accept them for what they are and love her to death whilst she iss still here...you never know what tommorow has in store for us ... Good luck this is very sensitive I know
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 June 2010): Personally, i've had encounters where I possibly thought I was gay. But I'm hetero. This was way back when I was 18 too. So I believe that your daughter is sexually curious and experimenting with her sexuality. I'm sure that the fact that she is hetero (probably what you want her to be) may still hold its truth in this case as she herself is as unsure of her sexual preferences as much as you are about her.
I suggest you talk to her RIGHT NOW. Don't think you want to avoid looking into her eyes your whole life do you? Be sure to address the issue that you love her no matter what. (I hope you do)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 June 2010): I am the person who wrote this note.
I have never actually thought about whether or not my daughter coudl possible be bi sexual or gay, Im still not sure what to think. I lve her regardless and support her no matter what but it is a lot to take in espically in the way I found out. Whether she is just experimenting or actually in a relationship with this girl I just want her to be safe and be smart about things. Ideally I woudl love my daughter to grow up and marry a nice man, but that is not a choice I get to make.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (8 June 2010):
The very first thing you need to ask yourself is can you handle if if she is a lesbian. That's the first thing you have to ask yourself.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 June 2010): Before you approach your daughter you really need to assess your feelings on the matter. You haven't said if you are happy with the possibility of your daughter being gay. Hopefully you love your daughter no matter what and as long as she is happy no matter what then gender of who she is seeing should not make a difference. I don't think you should approach your daughter on the fact you seen her have oral sex but i do think you should approach the subject of her sexuality in a non confrontational manner if you think you can handle it, sit down and talk. This could open your relationship with her and lay all your cards out on the table and will probably come as a relief to her that she can talk about it without fear of reprimand. Good luck!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 June 2010): they may not actually be lesbians - they could just be curious as they are still at an exploring age. Don't jump to conclusions and wait for your daughter to come to you. But if you can when opportunity arises (such as watching a tv programme with gay people) say how you can't understand why people don't accept people for who they are and who they love ... people are just people. That way, you are not hinting at what you know but are creating an environment where she could come to you should she need to "out" herself with confidence of your acceptance. My sister told my dad she was bi-curious, not gay or stright, just curious in both direction and he flipped his lid out of shock. Though graphic, you have been given the heads up to the potential fact that your daughter may be a lesbian ... use what you know to prepare yourself so when she is ready, you'll be ready.
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