A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi what do you do when a relationship has become boring I’ve been with my fiancé for 4 years we never do anything together in that time we’ve been out for 6 meals and that’s it he never wants to do anything he gets stoned every day all day he was a borderline alcoholic so we can’t go out anywhere for a drink together I’m just so bored and feel like I’m missing out on a normal relationship we’re only 31 it shouldn’t be this way I’ve tried talking to him but he says I’m whinging what do I do
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Dionee'  +, writes (3 April 2018):
 The two of you are incompatible. The best thing that you can for yourself is; pursue a prompt breakup.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 April 2018): I have an easy remedy. In your case, you dump him!
He's a pothead and borderline alcoholic. Why would you marry somebody like that???
You see what you have to look forward to. You actually want to be hitched to a guy like that? Then don't complain about boredom or how lazy and boring he is? Boredom seems the least of your problems.
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A
male
reader, TylerSage  +, writes (1 April 2018):
 A relationship takes two. You're writing that you're bored but blaming your boredom on your fiance. What have you been doing or suggesting in order to bring more fun into the relationship? Have you arranged any dinner dates or picnics? Any movie or game nights? BBQs? Role-playing-sex? House parties? Gatherings with friends? What exactly have you contributed?
Persons who resort to excessive drinking and drug consumption do it to escape reality. He's running away from something, the question is what? Is he depressed? Is he going to therapy? Do you think he is hiding something from you? It seems he was fun at some point in time but something has happened to turn that spark off. I think ending a relationship because of boredom seems a tad bit harsh.
If your fiance wrote in to DearCupid saying "My fiance watches me drink and smoke myself away all day and never asks why I do it, she just wants to go out all the time. What should I do?" I'm sure many aunties and uncles here would have strong opinions about you. I understand that you want a suitable spouse but issues are bound to come up, "for better or worse, in sickness and in health..." Can you guarantee that you can be there for him the same why you want him to be there for you?
Don't waste your days waiting for change to come. Make change happen. First start with your surroundings, if you have little or no control there then make changes for yourself knowing that you gave it your all.
All the best.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (1 April 2018):
 Your relationship sounds like a dreadful life sentence ... based on current life expectancy rates for the UK that's another 50 years just like the previous four!
While he might be engaged TO you, he isn't engaged WITH you, which gives you time to sit down and rather than let the very life force within slowly drain away, you can really plan for and map out a better, more fulfilling life for yourself.
Get your ducks all in a row, sort your finances, decide if you are going to move out or him. Instigate a massive quick saving scheme if you need to gather some cash for bonds or rental agreements and moving costs. Remove anything of sentimental value and important papers photographs etc and store at a friends house for a short time as a precaution.
Put a time limit on your plans, and then put them into action, and once he is out of your hair and life start living. Eat out once a month, join groups, relearn how to be part of the greater mass known as human kind.
Don't spend the next 50 years of your life shackled to somebody who isn't even willing to listen to your cares and concerns, nobody needs that sort of loser influence in their lives.
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious +, writes (1 April 2018):
 What future to you see for the two of you? He has made it plain he is not interested in what you want or need. How many more years are you going to waste on him?
Find somewhere to live, move out and reclaim your life. You are worth more than this.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (1 April 2018):
 So why are you engaged to this man?
You DO understand that a wedding will not change who he is, right?
He will keep smoking dope and not wanting to do anything. Shoot it sounds like that of a couple of 90 year old, not people in their 30's!
Do you REALLY see a future with this loser?
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