A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:What do you do if someone is giving you the silent treatment? I have told them I will not contact them again as they obviously dont want to speak to me, and I know I must not break my word now that i have said that or i would look stupid. but what if they contact me after say a week or whatever with some excuse or they appear as if nothing has happened, how should i react with them as i want them to see that if they give me the silent treatment I will just walk away and leave them to it. Any ideas please? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, softtouchmale2003  +, writes (16 August 2009):
 Sometimes people don't want to hear from you and don't want you to talk to them. This is probably one of those situations. I would not pester this person.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 August 2009): There is this girl from high school I have asked to stop calling me. We graduated 16 YEARS ago, found each other about 2 months ago. She still wanted something that I couldn't/didn't want to offer. I advised her that I only wanted her friendship and nothing more. She agreed to that and then sends me pics of her breasts. It was aggravating. She would blow up the phone to moment her husband went to work and expect me to answer while I was still dressing for work WITH my family there. I cut it off again for a while, we start talking again, then she tells me that she still loves me and WHEN we get together again, I'll realize that I've always loved her. I CUT HER OFF FOR GOOD. If yours is a situation like this.. please let it alone. If not and your friend still doesn't want to talk to you now or ever, honor that. GL 2 u.. hope you 2 work it out
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A
female
reader, goodwoman  +, writes (14 August 2009):
I agree that life is too short for this sort of behavior, people should be able to agree to disagree realizing that a friendship is about understanding the differences between one another. If a falling out occurs you would think the "norm" would be to have a "cooling off" period and then be able to sort things out and resume the friendship. However, there are people and I stress this point....that some people do not possess the ability to do this. This type of person executes the "silent treatment" as a form of punishment and control over the other person. Now, if it is a female giving the silent treatment to a man the man will most likely not be bothered by this. However, if a female is on the receiving end of the "silent treatment" a female will usually go to all means to find out why and settle it so harmony can exist between them again. If this is truly a "silent treatment" the person who is the recipient of this treatment needs to understand the dynamics of it and proceed accordingly. I wish it was as easy as "let's kiss and make up!"
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A
female
reader, goodwoman +, writes (13 August 2009):
You don't say if the person giving you the silent treatment is male or female. Also, it appears that you have tried to make amends but to no avail. That aside, the silent treatment is a form of emotional abuse and control with the sole purpose to inflict physical pain on the other person by ignoring their actual existence. The silent treatment is when the other person totally ignores you, won't make eye contact with you, won't speak to you or acknowledge you, etc. This is torture. This is a very destructive type of behavior and nothing good ever comes of it. They want to show you that they are dominant over you. You don't exist. This hurts.
However, is it possible you could be confusing this with what is really just a "cooling off" period between you and this other person? In other words, was the other person so angry and upset that they just can't deal with it at the moment. They need space to calm down and reflect on the situation before they can speak to you again?
You may want to give this person some space. If the occasion arises that it is just the two of you (private), ask why they have decided to not speak to you. If you value the friendship and their reasons for being upset are valid, apologize. Tell them that their friendship is important to you. If this doesn't heal the situation then you may need to let this go. Remember, that which begins in anger always ends in shame.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 August 2009): Why behave like a 12yr old child only children behave this way be a mature adult and speak
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A
female
reader, Starlights +, writes (13 August 2009):
 I had this happen to me.
Here the story.
My dearest friend at work and I fell out over a small minor issue one day after a long period of friendship.
we were such close buddies it hurt my heart.
She gave me the silent treatment for MONTHS, walk past me and say nothing. Blank me as if i never existed.
i didnt approach her either during this time as i respected her decision not to be friends with me. I carried on as normal. I did miss her though. and I knew she missed me.
I also knew in my heart is she was truly my dear friend as I thought she was then she would return back some day.
After a few months of no talking and blanking each other at work, it was my birthday.
and woah surprise she signs my birthday card.
then she emails me.
then we start talking again with the same old banter.
Then she tells me she loves me and my husband.
we forgave each other and tommorow we're off to lunch at work time to the park to catch some british sun.
All relationships go through rocky patches but im sure if they are a true friend they will come back to you.
Good luck!
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (13 August 2009):
 Again Emilysanswer is perfect! I couldn't have said it better.
Be the BIG person and IF they start to talk to you, talk back. Either you work it out or at least you walk away from it not looking like a spoiled brat.
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (13 August 2009):
Well you are giving them the silent treatment. You are both not talking.
If they come back and talk to you and you forgive each other for what ever it was that went wrong, then brilliant.
Either that or you can pretend to be 12 for the rest of your life and say "OMG IM NOT TALKING 2 U!!!!" and stick your tongue out when you see them in the street.
Just leave them to it and move on. If they want to grow up and talk to you about it then return the courtesy and be a grown up back.
Good Luck!! xx
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