A
female
age
41-50,
*raviesagemini
writes:My ex and I ended the relationship in 5/16, I found out two weeks ago I was 14 1/2 weeks pregnant, I am now 17 weeks. I made him aware and he has only contacted me to offer to pay for the abortion. Hes ben stationed out of town and will be returning by the end of September. Should I keep my hopes up and hope that once he sees the growth of my stomach it will hit him and he'll come around. He has 3 girls from a previous relationship which he already pays child support for, he's 36 and right now he's been pretty immature. Any chance he'll take responsibility even if he and I never work things out?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 August 2009): You need to deal with this on your own and assume he wont be around.
If you decide to keep the baby thats your decision but you should go into this with your eyes wide open. To be fair he seems to have made his feelings clear and seeing as he has no choice in the matter I dont believe its right to force him into a situation he doesnt want to be in. Controversial I know, but I think sometimes we forget that its us women that hold all the cards here and you are able to make this choice regardless of what he wants.
It sounds like hes made his decision but you never know things could change...just dont rely on it!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 August 2009): Best to assume he will not change. More importantly you need to think about whether you want to keep this child and bring the child up indepedently. That is a very personal decision - but don't make a decision on the hope and prayer that this guy will change. It is very doubtful and when all is said and done you need a good role model of a father for your child or it might be best to keep him at arms length. He is clearly not interested in having a child with you otherwise he would not offer to pay for an abortion - he sounds pretty cold hearted and maybe the way he has been with his other children gives you some idea? Get the support networks you need to make a decision and live your life for you.
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A
female
reader, Starlights  +, writes (13 August 2009):
 I agree with honeypie on this one.
He wont change, and you have to make the decision whether or not you can independently look after this baby.
Abortion isnt easy, neither is rearing a child on your own, so do think carefully.
Good luck!
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A
female
reader, missjones +, writes (13 August 2009):
Well i would hope that he would get it together but since he did want you to have an abortion i dont think he will. What i would do how ever is have that blessing in your stomach and make he pay out the butt for it....Just my little piece of adviceHope it helps.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (13 August 2009):
 I wouldn't keep my hopes up. He wanted you to have an abortion, which pretty much means he doesn't want you or the baby. Sorry honey, but you a fooling yourself if you think a baby will make him stick around.
You are on your own there. Make sure you get childsupport. Since he at least take care of that part with his other children, there would be no reason for him not doing at least that for you.
However yo usaid he was a very immature 36 year old, so why do you think a baby bump would make him grow up?
Good luck,
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