A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:For many yrs me and my Husband (together with other people) have performed in this Chamber music group. We recently moved across the country. It just so happens that one of the other musicans that we are also good friends with lives in this town. We were in contact with him before the move and he was very gung ho and still is about performing with us again. The problem is maybe his new girlfriend (of a year) seems to not enjoy us being around. I am not sure. We only practice once a week for about 3 hours and then try and get together with New GF (and her 19 YO daughter sometimes)for us all get together and do something. We are very open people and we will do anything or try anything. I don't care if it is always on her terms I am OK with that. It just seems that something always happens when she is around. We will dine out or go to a show or somthing and she will go in for about 20 min and then just get up and leave and go sleep in the car. I don't understand this. I talk to her all the time on our double date. She seems really nice and seems talkative and interested. But I just get the feeling that she wishes that we were not around and we are in the way of HER agenda. Even if we see each other just once a week and are very open to doing whatever. Do I try extra hard to bond with her or is it a lost cause?What do I do about our musican friend in the group? I know he enjoy's playing with us. In fact if it was up to him we would practice more! We have not talked to him about this. I think he would prob tell her our feelings and it might cause an issue.Thanks! Reply to this Question
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female
reader, babomi  +, writes (3 November 2008):
 so, you ve been many times in double dates and she leaves in the middle "to go sleep in the car", and everybody pretends it s fine and never confronts her?
you re feeling something negative coming from her?
but you keep seeing each other?
i m pretty sure she does not like you or this music thing, whatever the reasons, either you want to respect her feelings and stop seeing them as a couple, even if her bf does not realize it
either you re new to this town, you want to stay in touch with your friend, it s a problem in their relationship, not yours, keep on ignoring her "weird" behaviour and enjoy the company of your friend
but no need to pay her so much attention
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