A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Hi all. Your insights plz?I have been with my bf for about four months,and during sex he often tells me not to give myself to any other man,and not to give my private part to any other man. Why does he say this? Is he possesive? How should I take this? Thanx for your answers. X Reply to this Question
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female
reader, angelDlite +, writes (12 July 2011):
 he may find it sexy to take 'ownership' of you. i think its just a bit of sex chat that gets him off, some blokes like to feel like they are the boss, the owner. does he show jealousy at other times? does he want to check your phone? does he turn up at your house unannounced? does he seem to take too much of an interest in how you have spent pretty much every minute of your day? does he happily allow you to go out with your friends? does he ask you have other men talked to you? does he ever comment on male colleagues or friends? does he ever try to discourage you from dressing attractively?
the only person who knows exactly WHY he says it is HIM - so ask him to explain. if you are intimate enough to have sex with him you should be intimate enough to talk about sex, especially if an aspect of it turns you off or worries you
x
A
female
reader, RedAthena  +, writes (12 July 2011):
 It may just be part of "aggressive" play.
Ask him what it means and if it bothers you, speak up.
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A
female
reader, Cupid_or_Stupid +, writes (12 July 2011):
 If he was to say "I wouldn't want you to run off with another man because I love you" would that be possessive? That is basically what he is saying just worded differently.Isn't it perfectly natural to want your partner for yourself? Surely the fact he doesn't want you cheating is basic human instinct?Honestly, I don't think it's at all possessive. He's expressing the fact that he wants you to himself and if you are his girlfriend then quite rightly he should. Men also love it when they have something great that they don't have to share. He's probably proud (and maybe even turned on) that he has you to himself and so he expresses that in this way. He's probably just speaking his mind. The only way it would become possessive was if he was saying this in general coversation and in more of an aggressive manner. Hope this helped :)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 July 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi all, thanks for your answers!! yes, I will ask him what he means, yes it is a bit weird, yes Griff, I am glad he is saying that rather than saying; ok go share yourself!! no , he is not controlling in other areas, but it is certainly one to watch! yes, must find out if he wants/ means this is exclusive.. it;s al a bit nuts ( excuse the pun) I would not say that to HIM during sex, but then I am not him!!x
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (12 July 2011):
 sounds to me like he does not want to share you... so you need to find out if he means this to be an exclusive relationship or he's just being jealous and possessive.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 July 2011): Oooh, thats a bit weird in my opoinion, to say that during sex? Yes, he sounds possessive. ofcourse it is normal to tell your partner/ask them to remain faithful but to say it during sex?? Sex is meant to be free, enjoyed, you dont want to deal with these kind of issues whilst doing it though? I would HATE it if my partner siad this to me, and I would never say it to him. In fact, we talk about our fantasies whilst making love, and that can include other people being involved. Now THAT is sexy!
Maybe he feels this is the only way he can express himself, but I find it weird, I also think it is quite controlling. I'd be careful of this guy. Is he controlling in other ways?
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A
male
reader, GRIFF TANNEN +, writes (12 July 2011):
 Why does he say this????
Is it not pretty normal that he doesn't want you to give yourself to any other man, and not share your private parts to another?
Or would you prefer that he asked you to do just that, to go ahead and give your self to another man and share yourself around a bit???
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