A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:What do men truly think about a woman moving in with them?Does it reduce "the chase"?Does it reduce the chances of asking her to marry you?Do men see it as "Why buy the cow when you're already getting the milk for free"?would you respect her more for NOT moving in with you - even when you begged her too? Respect he for being independent and therefore want to chase her more.... no matter how long you've been dating for? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 February 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you to all of you for your thoughtful and sincere responses. I agree with all that has been said. Mostly I agree (and know) that 'the chase' is not about playing games - but rather, as Angzw so nicely states, it is about being genuine in your r/ship, whilst still maintaining a sense of self. I have known that, but failed at times to follow through - allowing myself to become too comfortable being at home, rather than out and about. Now I know that I need to get me groove back :-)
Thanks again!
A
female
reader, Angzw  +, writes (2 February 2010):
In my personal experience, when you move in with a guy you have to let him know your expectations before doing so. Eg. I'm only moving in if this is going somewhere.
The chase is not about playing hard to get and other childish stuff. The chase or keeping a guy interested is to maintain a certain amount of mystery and independence. Dont build your life around him now that you live together. Dont phone him every minute about what time he's coming home. If he makes plans without you, also make plans without him instead of sitting under a quilt wearing your red socks watching reruns on the telly while stewing with anger. Throw out the torn granny panties you wear to bed; sleep naked instead. Maintain your interests and hobbies outside of him. Continue to make the same effort with your appearance as you did before you moved in. Nothing wrong with occasionally surprising him with a nice home cooked dinner with a smile rather than canned beans on toast for the 5th time that week and served with a snarl. I'm not talking Stepford Wives here, but rather interesting fascinating and unique. Completely unpredictable. If a fight takes place, have it then enjoy the make up sex later. In this way the chase never ends. Then after a few months when you want to move things along, stick it to him and tell him if this relationship isnt going anywhere then perhaps we should both live apart until we are sure about what we want. This has worked for me brilliantly.
...............................
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (2 February 2010):
It depends entirely on the man. If he is in love with you and committed to you and you have a meaningful relationship, then he will want you to move in and be happy that you do. If he's not wanting that, and perhaps doesn't seem into marriage, then he's not interested in anything other than having you around for sex. So it depends how you feel the relationship is moving forward.
...............................
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (2 February 2010):
 I'm definitely on the fence about this one. I guess it just depends on the guy, he may decide that yeah the milk's there why pay for it, but then again the little monkey's right, it certainly is nice to know what you are getting yourself into before you marry the guy. I'm afraid I'm not being very helpful here but only you know this guy, does he come from happily married parents? What's his history? Does he speak favorably about marriage in general?
...............................
A
female
reader, Not My Name +, writes (2 February 2010):
 Never hurts to try before you buy - that way you know exactly what living with a person will be like way before any rings end up on any fingers and you find you can't stand each others little quirks and habits.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 February 2010): Do you feel that when you move in with your boyfriend YOU get the milk for free (come to think of it, guys resemble cows with milk more than women in a manner haha)? Do YOU want to marry him still?
I dont think men and women are too different when it comes to that. Except one thing, according to statistics, men who live with women and have children with them do not feel the need to marry, as they already have the children bonding them together.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 February 2010): "The Chase", as you put it, is a bit overrated tbh. Contrary to popular belief, many men do NOT enjoy it when women play hard to get. Meaningful relationships are not about mind games. They're about mutual respect, trust and caring. And basing them on games as you suggest is a surefire way to guarantee an eventual termination of the relationship. Nor does you moving in with your bf impact in any way on the likelihood of you asking him to marry him or not.
...............................
|
