A
female
age
36-40,
*oleyy
writes:im a 20 year old woman and have never been on a date before. i wouldnt say that i am unattractive physically however i am very socially awkward and can come across as 'standoffish'.so any tips on how i can come across more likeable, confident, charming? also what is it that guys like in a woman, personality wise? specific answers would be helpful and much appreciated :) Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Stayc63088  +, writes (14 May 2008):
 There is no specific answer, I promise you, no one can give you one. Not every guy will like the same type of girl, it is impossible, so there is no way to tell you what guys like in girls. It varies greatly. Some guys like overly sexual girls who are flirtatious and outgoing while others like shy sweet "take home to mom" type girls. And many many more. Don't change your personality into what you "think" a guy likes. You have to discover your own personality and that is when you get confidence in yourself. I have done this so it is true. List how you would describe your personality. It can be like- smart, funny, feisty, unique, etc. Read over what you write and truly appreciate your qualities. No one is alike and you are unique so embrace it. You don't need to act charming. Being shy can be very cute as long as you are able to talk some. You can have confidence and still be a bit on the shy side. To be likeable, also be yourself and smile :) Talk and make eye contact. Also being real shows a lot of confidence and is the absolute truth. Unless the person is dense, they can tell when you are putting on an act. Once you feel comfortable in your own skin, go out there in the world, make eye contact and smile. It shows confidence and I would be very surprised if some guys don't end up approaching you :) Good luck.
A
female
reader, lexilou +, writes (14 May 2008):
 Not all guys like self assured women so dont change - be yourself maybe you havent met mr right yet xx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 May 2008): Being confident and having a good personnality is the key to having anyone like you. You have to like yourself to have others like you. Never, Never, Never put yourself down instead pick out your favorite feature and focus on that. There are all kinds of men, and in my experiance the Great looking guys that work out all the time are usally stuck on themselves. First ask yourself what do you like to do? What makes you happy? What are your goals in life? This helps you target who you want to date. Life is stressful and it helps to have a sense of humor. Learn to laugh. Learn to smile. Smiling at someone says alot. Above all relax and be yourself around others. I used to be real shy as a teenager, I am married now and have been for 16 years. I learned to relax and be myself and guys like that. My husband and I started our relationship off by being good friends and he is my best friend still today. People do not like phoney people. Relax make friends and be yourself and people will love you for who you are. Again I must say you have to LOVE YOU first!!!!
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A
female
reader, :):):) +, writes (13 May 2008):
It might sound like a cliche, but be yourself. If men find you 'standoffish' then its probably because you're trying to fit a socially acceptable image and are not being yourself and relaxed. If a man dosent appreaciate you as yourself then he probably isnt worth bothering about. You'll find the right guy in time.
good luck
xxx
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 May 2008): Don't try to change yourself. You may end up getting a man, but can you keep up the charade.
Just talk about what you want, eventually someone will think, hey she's interesting.
You already doubt yourself and youve no need, you are you, an individual.
make a joke about being nervous that will help break the ice, then take it as it comes.
'That a nice shirt where did you get it'?
'OH i went shopping there'
'Did you see the football, i'm not really into it, explain the offside rule to me ha ha'.
Blah blah blah
Good luck
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