A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:What do I need to understand about how girls choose a guy?When I'm talking with a girl I like in a sexual way, I'm wondering whether I'm good enough compared to my competition, other guys. Or when I see another guy talking with the same girl and she appears to be enjoying herself, I wonder what makes him better than me?So my line of thought is that I'm in a kind of competition with other guys, and although we're all unique, there's universal standards (probably specific to our culture) that the best guys meet, and those guys get all or most of the girls they want.Do I need to do my best to ditch the thought that I'm in competition with other guys, not just for my own sanity, but because that's the correct path for all guys to take? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Alwayswondering  +, writes (1 September 2010):
Hello.
I thought of this from time to time. Here is how I look at it. I just do my own thing. If a girl likes me, then she likes me. If she likes another guy, then she does. There is a lot of girls out there. That being said, if you want a relationship, instead of a fling, make sure the person you meet wants a relationship too. Hope I helped.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 September 2010): Yeah I think you should ditch the idea that you're in competition with other guys. When you're a woman with, on average, say 10 or 15 guys a week come up and try to nervously make a good impression on you, it gets a bit boring and none of them stand out or seem to have a 'spark' with you. I can't speak for all women, but I am naturally drawn to guys who come across as easygoing and clearly very comfortable in their own skin... not an easy impression to give if you're comparing yourself to other guys or feeling you're not good enough. If she's still talking to you after a few minutes - and is interesting in talking to you, not just looking at her watch or looking round the room for distractions - then you ARE good enough. And don't let it knock your confidence if you have a few failures because there are a million silly reasons women can have for knocking someone back.
...............................
A
female
reader, Dorothy Dix +, writes (1 September 2010):
Hi there. My advice is to just be yourself, and don't feel that you are in competition with all other men. Everyone is completely different, no two men are alike in their personalities. Don't ever compare yourself to others - everyone is equal. No one man is any better than anyone else.
Just believe in yourself, and feel good about who you are. You are a worthy human being and just as deserving of good relationships as anyone else. There are no exceptions to that rule.
Young ladies don't go around comparing one man to another man, although it might seem that way to you. It simply isn't true.
But one thing is certain. As long as you are sincere in everything that you do and say, and don't pretend to be someone you are not - just to try and please someone. Sincerity and honesty, will be much more appreciated by all other people (not just girls), than all the best acting in the world. That kind of shallow behaviour is very transparent, and can easily been seen for what it truly is, and that is "Not Real".
Always be true to yourself, and live your life by what you believe to be true. Don't be swayed by others to do things you believe are wrong. Follow your heart always. Also, listen to your intuition - don't go against what it's telling you. Another important thing, is don't allow people to take advantage of you or treat you badly. You deserve the best you can have, and to be the best you can be - always.
In meeting young ladies, just try and make friends with them first. Find out if you have any common ground together - e.g. family backgrounds, likes and dislikes, music, hobbies and interests. The main thing in getting to know girls, is to keep it light, and don't try and get into anything too deep or talk about the future. There is plenty of time for all that type of thing. Don't forget to be happy and have fun!
Also, don't try to get into the sex part straight away. Get to know whether you genuinely like the girls first, and see how it all pans out. When you decide if you like them enough to take it to the next level, then by all means discuss it with them. There really is no rush. In fact the more you try and rush to having sex, the more likely things might go a bit sour on you. The main thing is to be happy in each other's company first and to have mutual love and respect toward each other. That's very important.
I am sure you will go very well if you put all of these things into practice regularly.
Take care and best wishes.
...............................
A
female
reader, xoxDrkrosexox  +, writes (1 September 2010):
yes. ditch that thought. we ARE all unque. when you find the right girl she'll and you'll know. its just about being yourself and not anything else.
...............................
|
