A
female
age
51-59,
*hippy2
writes:What do I do with an x that is just plain nasty. We are divorced and just recently - within the year have started talking because of the children. The kids are now 26 24 and 19. Most times he is civil but tonight he just flipped out again. Over $43!We have to travel to NYC soon with the 26yr old and bis fiance and my 19yr old.I dont want this to get ugly but - I dont know how to handle things when he gets weird.I am hoping he will be on his best behavior for a 7hr car ride - Any suggestions about how to confront him when he is mean that will make me look confident?Now I just say I am sorry and he keeps repeating whatever my offense is to the kids.Arrrghhh! I know he is an x and rightfully so, but there are still occasions where we have to be together.Any ideas would be greatly appreciated.ps. He is a city police officer.
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 January 2013): Pretty damn easy OP. "I won't be spoken to like that, I'm not a perp and this is not an arrest, be civil."
Or you know what's another great way, what SVC suggested and ignore him. Bring an ipod or other mp3 player and if he starts being a dick, stick on some music and close your eyes and have a nap.
Also time to stop talking to him again OP. It serves no purpose, your kids are adults now. You've spent their whole lives living for them and trying to protect them from drama and crap. No need to anymore, it's time they respected your wish not to have anything to do with that nasty asshole anymore and not put you into situations like this with him. They'll understand OP and they'll comply. Because you won't make them take sides, you won't bad mouth him or demand he not be places where you are. You just be a little wiser about the amount of access to you he has. Doesn't have to be a bitter thing or anything just some people are better in small doses.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (8 January 2013):
 Well why are you riding with him?
he's a ex. let him find his own way or if you are riding with him, you find your own way.
The kids are not babies, they see him for what he is.
Just ignore his childishness and do NOT confront him.
Ignoring his bad behavior and rewarding his good behavior is what will make you look confident.
why does this man intimidate you so? You clearly state you don't feel you look confident which means you do not feel confident and your PS (he is a city police officer) tells me he's got you brainwashed that because he's a cop he's SPECIAL. He's not. He sits to poop just like real folks do.
The kids see him for the nasty SOB he clearly is being.
The fact that he attacks your behaviors alone shows that he's insecure in his position.
DO not ride with him in the car for seven hours.
take a train or a bus by yourself if you must.
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A
male
reader, anon_e_mouse  +, writes (8 January 2013):
 Don't say sorry if you haven't done anything wrong.
He sounds like a nag! I've not come across a man nag before. I would say just walk away when he starts nagging and take the kids away from it too.
However, I don't know about a 7 hour car journey.
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