A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:ok im 17 and i'm pregnant. my boyfriend of 2 years who got me pregnant is 28 and there is a huge problem and it's not the age gap its his ex girlfriend. he has a 3 year old daughter by his ex girlfriend and his 3 year old daughter looks nothing like him and he even said he doesn't think the 3 year old is his because he walked in on his ex girlfriend with two other guys and shortly after she calls my boyfriend saying shes pregnant. his ex keeps calling his phone saying that i'm a cheater and i'm a hoe and crap like that which is not true because the only guy that i have had sex with is my boyfriend so the child that i am carrying is definetly his. He doesn't believe his ex girlfriend but she is really pissing my off and the doctor said i'm putting stress on myself which affects the baby. i told my boyfriend to have him and his so called 3 year old child take a DNA test but he says he doesn't want to put the child through that. my boyfriend has father potential and is sticking by my side. my family has disowned me just for dating my 28 year old boyfriend because of the age difference and they don't know im pregnant by him. so its not like i can turn to my family for help. however i cant take this crap from my boyfriends ex girlfriend shes only doing it to get me jealous and to get him to go back to her. he ignores her phone calls and when she cant get a hold of him she drops by our house unannounced yelling at me and always picking a fight. i know my boyfriend is on my side and doesnt want his ex girlfriend back and only talks with her because of his "3 year old daughter". What do i do to make her leave him and me alone?
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female
reader, tina46 +, writes (15 June 2009):
You probably won't want to hear this but first, I was in YOUR position not the ex girlfriend so consider that.
I was 16 and he was nearly 30.
The fact that he chooses to say he isn't sure the 3 yr old is his? He will be saying the same thing about your baby when he moves on.
He's 28. He has taken advantage of you. He is telling you what you want to hear but any guy who would talk against his own child isn't going to stand up for you when he grows tired of you.
Something tells me he isn't being truthful with you at all.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 March 2009): I have been in exactly the same position, unfortunately the only real way to solve this is to get a DNA test, my fiance is in the process of getting one, as his supposed child looks nothing like him, or the mother, and she cheated numerous times - and admitted it. However, if she is harassing you rather badly, i'd advice talking to the police, it's not acceptable behaviour, she's a mother, she should know better. Next, you need to have a serious talk to your boyfriend about getting a DNA test. If the test comes back that the child isn't his, he can tell her to get lost or whatever he pleases, if the child is his, some ground rules need to be set up, child support matters and also if he wants part custody of the child. This really needs to be sorted, or it will never go away, and it could tear your own little family apart. I do understand it's a very difficult position to be in, just don't become overwhelmed and try not to stress to much, you have another little person to think about :)
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A
male
reader, tux +, writes (24 March 2009):
 If he doesn't believe that the kid is his, then you need to get him to take a dna test. If it's his, then you are stuck with his babymama drama... If it's not his, then you can get her out of your life. I would also recommend moving.
This is one of the reasons why I never dated women with children to begin with. Too much drama. BUt unfortunately, you are in what you are in. If you want her out of your life, then you need to get him to take a paternity test on the other child and even then you only have a slight chance of getting rid of it.
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A
female
reader, loving arms  +, writes (24 March 2009):
Well if she is abusive and harrassing you both i'm she there is legal action you can take. It seems a bit strange that she has an issue with you after you have been with him for so long.
As for the little girl, the fact that she does not look like your boyfriend does not mean that she is not his. I gave birth to 3 children. I know for a fact they are all mine and yet only one looks like me.
You believe everything your boyfriend tells you. You need to ask yourself some questions, Are you sure his ex was caught with too men? Does your man pay child support for the child he believes to be his? Why is his ex so angry?
Things are not always black and white
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 March 2009): why did you get involved with some one who doesn't have a respectable life style?
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