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female
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anonymous
writes: When I go on dates with boys it's like I get really shy and I don't know what to do. Like I don't know what they expect from me. Can someone please give me some advice in which a 16 year old should do when she goes on a date to the movies?
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female
reader, One Of The Ancients +, writes (6 October 2005):
The purpose of a date is to get to know the other person, and to make a decision if that person is someone you want to spend more time with.
That's all.
There's nothing that you have to "do", except be pleasant company. There's no requirement that you get sexual, to kiss, or to even hold hands, so if you don't feel comfortable doing those things, then don't.
When you're invited out to the movies, I would expect that the young man would probably accept almost any level of physical affection that you're prepared to offer (this is a generalisation, based on the rampant hormones of most 16-year-old guys, and I know it's not true of every young man). However, simply because he might like it, does NOT mean that you have to participate in it. In some ways, you're actually a more desirable date because you're not easily attainable. So hold hands with him, if you want to, kiss if you feel like it, but don't be fooled into thinking that you have to "repay" your date with some sort of sexual activity, because that's just *wrong*.
Here's what I suggest for an evening at the movies: when you meet for your date, be ready on time, smile, say how pleased you are to be going out (assuming you are pleased). If the young man's meeting you at your house, make sure that your folks get a chance to say hello to him (that makes your folks happy).
Offer to pay your share for the entertainment, but accept graciously if the young man wants to pay for you.
If you want to show affection during the movie, make sure that it's subtle enough that you wouldn't be embarrassed to be "caught" at it, OK? Remember, you're in a public place!
After the movie, be a good conversationalist. Talk about what you've seen, and any other topics that you have in common (school, friends, activities, sports, news stories etc). Maybe go for a coffee together.
When the evening's over, there will probably be high hopes for kissing. Kiss only if you feel like it. Be sure you say thanks for the evening.
There you go. A simple list, but it boils down to this: you don't have to put on some sort of show for the other person. The point of dating is to be who you really are, so you and that other person can get to know each other better.
Hope this helps.
Be warm and
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