A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Ok so im new to this whole sex thing, ive had sex once with my boyfriend so far, and we have messed around a lot in bed, hes given me oral a few times, hes fingered me a lot and i have given him a hand job a few times. However i cant help but think it is really obvious i am inexperienced, as he is always totally in the lead and i am kind of slow at even going near his penis. I am ready and really want to be more confident. I kind of just lay there and i feel silly because of this but its cause ive never had a sexual relationship and dont really know what im doing. Where do men like being touched? What should i do to show him i want to do this with him?(cause i do i just dont know how to show i want him) What would i do if i was on top during sex like how would i move?Thanks.
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female
reader, animalzx0x  +, writes (23 May 2009):
this may sound a little... weird and shallow... but watch a porno... you'll be surprised what you will find out from that stuff... once you see it done in front of you you'll feel more confident and know what to do, but if you're guy knew you were trying to find ways to please him, he'd be very happy :)
A
female
reader, blueyes333 +, writes (20 May 2009):
Hey, I felt the same way when I was about 15 or 16 but now i am 19 and must more experienced. I have had sex with 13 guys and each on more then 1 occasion. So I have had my fair share of sex. If you feel ready to give your guy head, you should, guys love this. When your giving him a handjob, all you do is put your mouth around the tip of his penis, and continue to move ur hand up and down the shaft while sucking on the tip. You can also, lick the shaft, lick the tip, lick/suck on his balls, things like that. When your on top, you can bounce up and down using ur knees to lift your body up and down on his penis. Also, you can "ride" his penis but thrusting ur hips back and forth on his penis which will feel really good for you. Just be confident and move whichever ways make you feel good. But if your not feeling too confident, tell your guy to tell you what to do, or ask him what feels good. you can ask these things while your hooking up. It will turn him on, the thought of bossing you around and helping you please him.
Hope i helped a little!
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A
male
reader, Rogerramjet  +, writes (19 May 2009):
Eh, what i learned was: When in doubt, just do what feels good.
In the act of sexual intercourse, it's amazing how often just doing what feels good is the RIGHT thing to do for both parties...
Just give yourself over to your instincts. It is at our most basic nature to want to procreate, so somewhere inside you is the knowledge you seek!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 May 2009): why dont you just tell him what you told us? its better to have him guide you than to look like you dont know what you're doing .just be honest, it will be fun for the two of you to experiment
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (19 May 2009):
 Hello my dear,
Cosmo is a trashy magazine, but you need it sister!! You'll get "100 new ways to please your man in bed", and learn how to "make your orgasm boom with the strength of 1000 trombones" (okay, not sure how that article would read), etc. etc.
But, from the magazine of TasteofIndia sexual knowledge, I'll say this. Where do men like being touched? Pretty much anywhere. Things to consider: his nipples - some guys LOVE LOVE LOVE it when you play there and some guys could pass. Experiment and see how he reacts. Secondly, stay away from the backdoor until you're totally comfortable and have talked about whether or not he's into that.
Grab his butt, kiss his neck and ears, keep your hands roving all over his skin. Sometimes you can just lay back and relax. You can show him you want him by initiating a makeout sesh, that's usually not so hard. By the time you're taking off your shirt and/or straddling him, he'll know exactly where things are going.
As for being on top, well that just takes practice and figuring out your groove. Some chicks prefer to slide up and down more horizontally (with your chests almost or completely touching), and some prefer to bounce up and down vertically. You'll figure out which is easier for you to do... once you get up there, experiment. Let your fella know that you're new to this and you're just going to figure it out as you go along. He'll love to help you learn, that's for sure.
Confidence for you will come from knowing that your guy loves you, finds you sexy no matter what and wants to be with you. Confidence will also come from knowing that the sex you're having is 100% safe! That way you can really let go and not have to worry about anything.
Good luck, sweetness!!
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A
female
reader, Fiona xxx +, writes (19 May 2009):
 Congrats! you have passed a milestone in life.
Don't worry so much, nobody likes their first time and I don't think anybody feels prepared in knowing what they are doing. Think about other first times in life, did you think you knew what you were doing then? Say the first day in a job? It doesn't matter that he's your first because everybody has a first lover.
Your confidence will soon grow as you get used to things. The important thing is to go with the flow and follow your instincts and any subtle directions he gives you.
If you have given him a hand job, I am sure you know what he likes. A lot of the foreplay is similar, touching inside of his thighs, his back, possibly similar to the things he does to you (only he of course doesn't have breasts).
I would say don't worry about being on top, it's quite advanced if you are not feeling confident and only had sex once or twice.
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