A
female
age
30-35,
*oveMeNot
writes:I met this gorgeous Irish guy in my first year of university and we had a casual relationship, which I am not proud to say was behind my boyfriend's back. I split up with my boyfriend, but the guy I was seeing then got a girlfriend and we lost contact for a while. Recently Irish-guy and I started meeting up again and in the beginning we were doing well at being friends but then we kissed. Now it's like I'm the other woman and that's not how I wanted to end up. He says he still has feelings for me, but he hasn't said he will break up with his girlfriend, and I'm so confused. We could be really good mates but this stuff keeps getting in the way. I don't want to mess up his current relationship, but I can't deny I also have feelings for him... I really don't know what to do about this situation. HELP. :)
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 September 2011): if you don't want to be the other woman, don't be the other woman. Stop seeing him.
He's not going to break up with his girlfriend for you. He already left you to be with someone else once. Get him out of your life and move on.
A
female
reader, Coopervikki +, writes (31 August 2011):
get away from him as fast as you can, ive been through a similar experience and it didnt end well for either of us, i fel in love with him, he told me he had fallen in love with me so i felt i had the right to fall and he would be their to catch me, (i am engaged, he is married) i was wrong! seriously get away from him now! he will rip your heart out and wont even look back.......you dont think it now (coz neither did i) but give it time and you will know exactly what i mean, dont say no one ever warned you x
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A
female
reader, LoveMeNot +, writes (31 August 2011):
LoveMeNot is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thanks for the direct answer!
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (31 August 2011):
I don't know why people put themselves through this inevitable torture. You cheated on your ex with this guy. Then he got himself a girlfriend and threw you over. Now he's back and rather than see him for the sleazy liar that he is, you're yet again lowering yourself and your reputation by considering actually keeping in contact with him.
Why? Because you say you have feelings for him.
Shame you can't see that he couldn't care a less about you. He's just using you, because you're someone who allow herself to be used.
My advice to you is firstly to wake up and realize that this guy is absolutely not the kind of man you should be with. He's a liar, he's a cheat, and he's laughing at you and his girlfriend because he knows that you're both at his feet. Secondly, realize that you actually deserve better than to be 'the other woman' - it's always the other woman who comes off worse, whether it;s by reputation or her feelings being left hurt.
Too many people underestimate how badly this can affect their reputation. Imagine that you do something with this guy, only for him to throw you over again (which he will, hence why he won't dump his girlfriend). You will only acquire a reputation as someone who has no respect for a relationship, and no respect for herself. And then no decent guy will want you, and you'll be left with the scraps.
Surely you can see that you're worth more than a guy who threw you over for another girl and now just wants you as a little bit on the side? And if you can't see that, you need to seriously look at your life.
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A
female
reader, cheers  +, writes (31 August 2011):
 Be mature and understand your position. Pls don't get involved as you knew he has someone already.
Do you realise he isn't committed at all? IF he leaves the girl to be with you, He can do same thing to you one day. Scary thing, isn't it? retribution
Get clean way out to find someone better
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