A
male
age
51-59,
*avid70
writes:Hi EverybodyI am in a strange situation as things evolve. The background is as follows ; My wife and I have had a up and down relationship for 8 years - from it we have two beautiful children whom we both love. I have provided all they want and need financially but particulary for my wife not so much emotionally. i have always known the right thing to do but not done it.We are now at a critical stage where I am in the spare room and she says she will decide in 4 months how she feels and if we are to continue.I am giving all I can to be a better support emotionally and be loving and thoughtful. I am opening up and communicating as never before. Yes agree it is late!My dilemna is I feel I have a gun to my head and walking on egg shells. On one side she wears her ring, says I love you, hold hands when walking, plans future trips and talks about our new house. On the other side she also mentions to change for myself not her or anyone else and there is on guarantee on what will happen. I am lost on how to act, do I keep being open and loving and expect nothing in return? (she says her tolerance level of me is zero ... but has improved a little) or do I play harder to get and do my own thing more? When I said we were separated she defines it as working out our marriage. Is this simply a game to make me change (i do want to anyway and it will be hard work, I am attending the gym regularly now and seeing a counsellor. I want to save my marriage especially and keep the children in a happy environment. Any one help with how I can act or win back her heart and love? Or is it a simply wait and see?Thanks you for anyone who takes the time to advise.
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male
reader, the_phoenic  +, writes (1 May 2011):
is she honest to you?if there is no one else in her lifethe possiblities are high but you must seek professional helpbut if she is seeing someone else than the psossiblities of saving you marriage are very lowinfact it would be better for you to get a divorcebecause even if she has chosen to be with youshe might miss the thrill of being wiht her loverfrom time to timeand you well end up supporting a woman who doesnt deserve youGood Luck
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