A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I recently moved to a new town, and soon after I met a woman (Helen), who asked if I wanted to meet for coffee. That was yhree months ago. Two weeks later she introduced me to her landlady, Emma. I started going round to their house for a cup of tea, chat, or pop out for a glass of wine. I thought it wad all going really well.Often Helen goes away on courses or to see friends or relatives. Emma and I started seeing more of each other. Now Helen has confronted Emma, saying she is muscling in on our friendship. So now Emma feels bad for having upset Helen.I can't believe I'm in this petty situation. I wanted to make new ftiends being new to the area. Seems I've got myself a whole new soap opera instead.To be honest it puts me right off Helen. I hate being controlled, and she only knew me for 2 more weeks anyway. It's not like I'm super popular, I'm completely normal. She sends me messages telling me how wonderful I am. I don't know how to deal with this. I do want friends, I thought this situation was turning out really well. How can I deal with this? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 November 2013): The fact that Helen has reacted in this way to you seeing Emma and the fact that she tells you how wonderful you are makes me think that Helen fancies you and would like more than just friendship from you. It's a shame that this has out you off Helen as she's probably really keen on you.
Don't give up on the friendship, but make it clear that you only want friendship from both of them. If Helen continues to be possessive and jealous then tackle her head on and tell her to stop as her behaviour is jeopardising your friendship with her. If she doesn't stop then continue your friendship with Emma and keep clear of Helen.
A
female
reader, jls022 +, writes (26 November 2013):
Honestly, you expect that people will grow out of this sort of thing but a surprising number don't unfortunately. If I were you I'd tell Helen that while you enjoy her company, you enjoy Emma's too and since you consider her to be a friend if yours in her own right now too, you are going to continue seeing her. In my experience, people like Helen back down when you show that type if assertiveness (although she may pout for a few days first), but if she doesn't is it really much of a loss? You don't need controlling friends like that in your life. All the best.
...............................
A
female
reader, Brokenv  +, writes (25 November 2013):
You need to ALL be grown ups. This sounds like grade 7 girl drama. You need to take control of your situation You need to tell Helen that you enjoy her company but you also enjoy her land lady's company.
If she doesn't understand....I'm sorry but Helen would be cut out of my life.
...............................
|
