A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have been happily married for 16 years with no cheating thet i know of. My husbadns phone beeped the other day and i lokked at it ( i know bad move!).Was message from a friend of ours all good. I looked in his out box and saw a message sent to a women that does deliveries or works at his work. It said "I need some rehabilatation before i expolde, i want to fill your fanny with my c--k! I can't believe it! Immidiatly i think they r or have had sex. He say's it just jokey texts. Nothing jokey about it to me. He now sleeping in lounge, i can't even look @ him. My heart is broken. Help! what do i do i have three lovly boys with him. x
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female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (1 May 2008):
 Hang in there, Buddy. I know you are feeling the entire gamut of emotions right now. Just try to get through one day at a time. Keep us posted.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 May 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionk he's moved out now.dosen't want to talk about it and has tx me last night he feel guilty about the tx. i am sure he dose and bum out that i actually feel sorry for him a bit. He must be so regreting the tx and knowin i hurtin.
BUT i just can't bare to have him here , i feel like i never want him to touch me again. I feel abandoned to deal with 3 boys 10 n under on my own and explain! i am 31 and what i thought was fairly attractive and absoulutly f--cked now!!! Sorry for the language but i type this instead of screaming out loud!! It hurts SOOOO much to be regected! Why didn't he want to send the tx to me! we had great sex at least 3 times a week sometimes more. We were adventurous and friends and now it's all gone.
i have been with this one man since 15 years old and never ever slept with another or sex text another.
Man those words are drainin!!
Just venting people this is the worst trip of my life, i hope it gets easier soon because it's so so hard.
thanks for all the great advice and words of encouragement.
i feel like i'm not walking through it so alone and not slandering my husband to our friends at the same time which is good. Talk soon :)
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A
male
reader, eddie  +, writes (30 April 2008):
 Don't forget, he is the one who sent the message. She may be a rotten player in this too but you can't expect anything from her. He owes you, big time.
There is nothing he can do to fully put your mind at rest. Nothing. In order to move on, you have to make your point. You tell him that he has been given his notice. This has to be a decision on your part to forgive and move on. You can not make it go away or pretend it didn't occur. It may have not even gone further than the text but your husband has to realize that he has created the doubt. He has to live on a short leash now.
If needs to understand that this is his doing. You make the rules and you have to enforce them. But... if you decide to stay with him and give him a second chance, you can not keep throwing it in his face. You've been given the task of determining the fate of the relationship. Good luck.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 April 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell ladies and gents things are pretty tragic here my hubby asleep in the garage and in full denial. Won't talk to me at all. I got home from work and asked him for her number again so i could call her he gave it! I called and left a message saying i was his wife and wanted to talk to her. She called me ten minutes later. Her answer was same as his JUST JOKES! and muking around. Irepeated the message he sent her and she said again it's just joking around. God i wish it was black and white. I feel like he some how pre warned her. After i found the initial texts i was so angry i left the house but had to turn around and come home cause my tum was really sore. Today when he gave me his ph for the number i saw there was a call to a number with no name just after i left the house angry. It was only marked *. I keep thinkin i going over board but then start to find and think other little things. Sorry this so long. I just don't know any more.....
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (28 April 2008):
I agree with the others, this has to be addressed immediately. You need to sit down with him and get to the bottom of it. If he won't talk about it then you really will have a tough time sorting this out. You do have a right to know. Pay very close attention to all of his activities and try to think back to where this delivery person might have come into the picture. Keep us posted, we are here for you, Honey.
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A
female
reader, Nevalearn  +, writes (28 April 2008):
Sorry, I don't think that is something you would say as a joke. Unfortunately he must come completely clean with you if you are to forgive him and move on, otherwise you might think you are getting through it and you find another little surprise along the way and another. Once the trust is broken in a relationship it is very hard to regain, even if you think you trust him it will always be in the back of your mind. This is a hard one. Good luck and take care of yourself.
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A
male
reader, eddie +, writes (27 April 2008):
Well, this is a tough one. He has made a big mistake and you're left to decide how far it went. It's such a blatant text that it almost sounds like it must be a joke although you'll never really know for sure.
Unfortunately you are left to decide how far this will go. He got caught doing something. You just don't know for sure what it was. You'd better deal with it now though as it may haunt you for a while.
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