A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:My love-life has been pretty hectic lately and I need some advice. I've been in a relationship with this truly wonderful, sweet girl for the past seven years. We get along great, do all sorts of fun things together and really care about each other. Unfortunately, she's not very good at sex so I've tended to get a bit on the side over the years. Four years ago, I met a hot older woman in a bar and we hit it off. We had sex and I've been visitng her every couple of months to have sex in her apartment when her husband is away. This has always been a source of great pleasure but it was never enough. Since 2005, I have been hooking up with three other girls on a regular basis for sex. The first two are work colleagues. Both of them are married but unhappy in their marriages. They work in separate departments and know nothing of each other. The third girl is a college student who I seduced in a restaurant and have been sleeping with on and off for ages. Recently, things have gotten even more out of control. On Valentines night, I hit it off with a single mother at a cocktail party and we've been seeing each other since then, although we've only slept together twice. I've also started sleeping with my sisters' room-mate, who is great in bed. I really feel like I'm in over my head here. I want to stay with my girlfriend but I don't want to give up the sex on the side. In addition, two of the womens' husbands have found out about their wives having an affair (they don't know it's me) and I'm scared what they'll do to me if they find out who I am. How do I dump the trouble women while keeping one or two lookers on the side for sex and still stay with me girlfriend. And please - no moral judgments! It's my life and I'll bang who I wanna bang. I just want helpful advice.
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 April 2008): Jeez.. It's guys like you that give your whole gender a bad name! I'm sorry, but can't you see what you're doing? You're greedy and self-centered. Get some morals sweetheart and THEN come back for help.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 April 2008): Jeez.. It's guys like you that give your whole gender a bad name! I'm sorry, but can't you see what you're doing? You're greedy and self-centered. Get some morals sweetheart and THEN come back for help.
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A
female
reader, duskyrowe +, writes (28 April 2008):
 YOU ARE SO UP YOUR OWN ARSE THAT YOU CANNOT SEE WHAT DAMAGE WOULD DO TO YOUR GIRLFRIEND IF SHE FOUND OUT WHAT A DICKHEAD YOU REALLY ARE!!!!!!!!!!
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (28 April 2008):
 I dispute your statement that you really care about your girlfriend. If you really cared about her, you'd let her go to find a guy who could truly commit to her, without exposing her to a whole variety of STDs. I do hope you've been practicing safe sex, for her sake. Who knows, someday when she wants to have children, she'll find that she has had a sneaky infection that precludes her from having them, or that she's diagnosed with cervical cancer from an undiagnosed HPV infection.
I think 'oldfool' gave you a really great answer to 'solve' your issue. So off you go to find the 'right' woman for you.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (28 April 2008):
 I have just one request, now that it is thunderstorm and hurricane season in North Carolina, please don't move here or ever stand near me. And stay away from my pals over there in jolly old England, too.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2008): Gets some morals asshole. I hope your girlfriend is ok when she finds out.
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A
female
reader, PreciousNY +, writes (28 April 2008):
I could be wrong, but I don't think that your behavior has anything to do with sex with your gf. You are addicted to sex and can't be with just one woman so you shouldn't be involved in a relationship with anyone. If she is really that awful in bed, why don't you tell her in a nice way and give her tips and suggestions. You should let go of your gf and save her from further damage and also the married woman that you are home recking. In all honesty though, you should seek counseling. You can't have a gf and screw other woman behind her back....if she doesn't know already she will find out.
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A
male
reader, oldfool  +, writes (28 April 2008):
 There is a contradiction here that needs to be resolved.
1. You have a girlfriend who doesn't give you good sex.
2. Good sex is an absolute necessity in your life.
Your way of resolving the contradiction is to keep the "relationship" with the girlfriend while sleeping with as many hot women as you can. This is not only unfaithful to your girlfriend, it also leads you into all kinds of dangerous and unethical sexual liaisons.
Since your girlfriend isn't able to give you what you need, I don't see why you are trying to keep the relationship up. Find a girl who can give you what you really want. Someone who is really hot and oversexed. And preferably the type of girl who is happy with an "open marriage" (or "open relationship"), that is, one which relishes sexual liaisons with other people than your partner. I have no idea how many women there are out there that could accept this, but they seem to exist.
That would resolve all your contradictions at once.
As for sexual addiction, etc. etc., well, that's your problem and I'm not going to pass judgement on it. The key seems to be to find a woman who gives you what you want so you don't have to go out and do all these morally (and physically) dangerous things with your life.
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A
female
reader, brooke5426 +, writes (28 April 2008):
 your life and you'll bang who you wanna bang? if you really believed that you wouldnt be shitting yourself about the husbands finding out who you are. Tell them its your life and you'll bang who you wanna bang and see if they give you a slap on the back and say "you're absolutely right. keep doing what you're doing." Karma is gonna kick the shit out of you, unless of course one of these women's husbands do it first.
Fucking twat!!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2008): There is no advice or guidance a person like you would be capable of understanding or taking on board. I think your probably just a bit too thick! So you won't get guidance on how to keep this childish and immature nature of yours hidden. However,
As you say quite openly you have no problem with what your doing, but you are now just scared and afraid to get caught. I can understand this fear, but - Sunshine - learn to live with it.
What would be helpful for you would be to gain some expertise in a martial art or self defence course. You'll hopefully need it when you DO (I love it - you will get caught and I think most of us would love to be a fly on the wall when this happens!)
AND for your girlfriend sake, I hope she has a life insurance policy on you for her future indulgances.
Oh, and - how do I dump the troubled women and stay with 'me' girlfriend! This is what you attract so it is not likely - and guess what, your just as troubled as all of the ones your enjoying banging!
I always really, really, really want guys and women like you to come a major cropper. Looks like it is about to happen to you.
However my heart and prayers will go out to your girlfriend in the hope she is not too badly damaged - by you. That is when clever pricks like you show their true colours and run away and hide under the rock you crawled out from.
Just a matter of time stud.
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A
female
reader, Light +, writes (28 April 2008):
hahaha Well I would like to say that it's great that you can be honest and let what you have mentioned....
However you should be just as honest with your girlfriend and tell her that she sucks in sex (not in those exact words, she might get hurt by it however the damage would be less then her finding out exactly what your doing.
I understand where you come from I have guy friends exactly like this, however I advice them the same and just say to be honest and work on your sex relationship, even take courses, go to germany.
If you care so much for her I think the best thing would be what I have mentioned above.
I hope that your using protection.
Just remember what goes around comes around, you don't want the same thing happening to you when you actually find Ms right!
Let us know of your progress ok...
All the best x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2008): You stated: "We had sex and I've been visitng her every couple of months to have sex in her apartment when her husband is away." You know your a real jerk don't you? Not only to this girl you claim you love, but also the husband of this older woman. Do you know for a fact that this girl you love, but isn't good in sex is actually saving the "good sex" for someone more worthy then you?
If I were one of the husbands, and found out who you were, I would fist thank you, then ask you sign a piece of paper stating you screwed my wife, then I could go to court, and dump this troubled bitch.
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A
female
reader, Lady lilly  +, writes (28 April 2008):
I am one of the ladys on here with a husband tx cheating, you are hurting so many people for your own gratification! Please please dump this poor girlfriend of yours and let her get on with her own life so she can have some fun and love from some one who deserves her. BE FAIR!!!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2008): Yikes...the hair on the nape of my neck just stood up...reading this! There is a scummy creepy, under-the-rock, loathsome quality when someone cheats, while holding onto the convenience of the relationship while banging numerous females behind his gf's back. I agree with Askoldersister. You have some serious issues pointing towards a possible sexual addiction and a lack of a conscience..you use sex as simply a means to placate your ego and validate yourself. How sad. Please get into counseling before you blow up the life and cause deep pain to this gf, that you 'claim' to care about. You don't want to bebringing home std's nor telling her, you are going to be a Father in 9 months time. You seem like a guy who has no respect for himnself nor women in general. You may have regrets later on, in your life...this mindset may overwhelm you. And if you take yourself down...fine... but you don't have the right to upend other people's lives.
Get into counseling ..you need some work on what is right and what is wrong with you. When you finally learn the difference of right and wrong, then that could be your beginning. So don't knock morals...it's a life map and it's what will keep one from making the same mistake again and again. Go the counseling route..it might just turn the tide for you and give you a renewed perspective to a whole new life.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2008): Please leave your girlfriend. She deserves much better than you! Just continue with your sex with all the other unfaithful women. You all deserve each other.
If you care anything at all for your girlfriend, allow her to find a real man who loves and truly cares for her.
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A
male
reader, Collaroy +, writes (28 April 2008):
 The easiest way would be to dump the girlfriend. Why do you go out with her anyway when your priorities for companionship are so lucidly laid out before us.
If you have no girlfriend then you only have to worry about the husbands catching you - compared to what you are doing now that should be a cinch.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2008): ugh!!fraid i have no advice on what your asking for.its guys like you that give our whole gender a bad name!!!im srry but simply jus reading this infuriated me!geez some people..come clean dump everyone let them get on with their lives and let your gf hopefully find someone better then you.
-michael
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 April 2008): Dump your g/f, if you have any morals at all, let her be able to find someone who truely loves her and won't cheat. Cause when she finds out and she will! you are toast buddy. Hope you don't catch a STD!!
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A
female
reader, lyd_foster +, writes (27 April 2008):
 wow i know you said not to pass judgements but sleeping with married women and whilst you have a gf your just asking for trouble!
you need to either stay with your gf and be faithful
or end it with her and have sex with Single women
because to be fair if you carry on having sex with these women one day its going to slip and when it dose you may get into alot of trouble
Plus you may loose your girlfriend
you need to step back and look at what you are doing
and concider if your okay with hurting these people
after all there is so much more to life than sex
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 April 2008): Wrong. It's not just "your life." You're in a relationship (or have you forgot?) which means it's her life, too. I sincerely hope one of those husbands finds out - along with your poor girlfriend, at which point I hope she dumps you right quick for someone who isn't a egomaniacal pig - and you get what you deserve.
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