A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey guys, I stumbled across this site in search of an answer...Backround, I go to University of California at Berkley, and there's this girl that lives near me in my dorm. She's a floor below me, but we have become really good friends. I would consider her my best friend, but... s**t happens, as we all know.Basically, she's talking to a kid she used to date, and she's always going "I'm done with him, he's a jerk, treats me like crap" yadda yadda... but he always comes up to my dorm and hangs out with her! and even stays the night and stuff but here's the kicker. She said we're best friends, and she's also said that we might have something in the future. I am apparently the only one here that she cares about so, obviously I take that into thought, but I don't act upon it. I just stay friends. until one night, we were talking, and she kissed me. I didn't think any relationship about it, but I thought it meant something...Later into the year, I'm getting fed up with how she still talks to this kid after being told by everyone that they dont like him including me. It got to the point where she said we needed to talk because I was ignoring her for a week straight. I didn't want to deal with it, or get involved with that scenario, so I let it be. I also told her when we talked that I'm done giving her advice, and she can do what she wants without it. I've kept my word.So in the last couple months, he's been up a lot more... naturally I ignore her more. She confronts me again, I tell her the same thing, also, in that conversation, I ask "what do you want to do about us" and also said I didn't want to mess up the friendship, but I didn't know what to do and I wanted to run it by you. So after the conversation which she agreed to, she left. I find out after she leaves that she's still talking to him, so I stop again.We slowly drifted apart... to the point where we would be in the same room, and as I talk to her, she doesn't even look at me. She barely acknowledges that I'm there and it really annoyed me, but I was doing what was best for me so I wasn't stressing over her, so I left it be. Then, one night we were... "under the influence" and we talked again... she said stuff like "I'm sorry for everything that I've been doing"..."I love you"... "I really care about you"... she kissed me 3 times that night. Then, she was rubbing her nose on mine for two minutes bascally asking me to make out, and I didn't. I left the room on a good note, and went to bed.The day after and the weekend following, we haven't talked at all. We went back to the "I'm ignoring you" stage and the previous incident was really messing with my head so, I said I wanted to talk to her, and she kept asking me "what is it about?" and I didn't want to tell her until I was actually having the conversation because that would ruin the point of having it so, she kept asking, and I kept saying "not until we talk" and she started copping an attitude with me because I wouldn't tell her, using swears and stuff that she NEVER I mean NEVER does with me. I was like "well if you want to come over whenever" she got pissed and was like "hah um ok".That was the last time we talked. now, sorry for the length, I had to vent... but what do I do? Do I basically say "screw you I'm done with your crap" or try to work it out? personally, I think whether you're under the influence or not, you shouldn't do shit like that to people. It's empty promises. Any advice would help, I really need it. I'm at the end of the rope.thanks,Stephen
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female
reader, Rob-x-x-x  +, writes (18 November 2008):
hi stephen, i am a teenage female girl and i think i know what this girl is doing. she thinks it is funny to mess 2 people around at once. she is just another one of those girls that thinks she can do what she wants and doesnt care about anyone else but herself. the best thing for you to do is to tell her to leave you alone...just say that you dont want to play her stupid little games and you should tell her that she should find someone else to mess about because your done with it all. i hope she stops this nonsense and i hope you can get on with your life. good luck xxxx
A
male
reader, Bryanz +, writes (18 November 2008):
Ok. As a male reader I think know how it is, but what I think is you should leave it up to her. I'd say fuck it, I give up. But i'd still give her a chance. People drift apart, but always get together. When people say "I'm done with him and I don't like him anymore" that usually means that you still have feelings for this person. Although you will ALWAYS have feelings for her, its not right for her to ignore you. But try talking to her again, if it dosen't work. I think you should just move on, you are 18-21 if you are looking for marrage, its all good. Since you're in University, it can be quite easy. 90% of people meet there wifes in Highschool or University. You'll find somebody else if you give up, but talk to her and tell her. Like, by the sounds of a part you told, she just wants in your pants. You said she sleeps over regularly and she kisses you. Do you guys sleep in same beds? Does she try to feel you? Anything like that. Private message me back with more detail, and I may be able to help you further. -Sorry for the long answer. haha
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A
female
reader, wayblonde6 +, writes (18 November 2008):
If u want to talk to her I would just send her a text when she is in her dorm be like hey do u have time to talk .? And just go down there. If she won't give up anytime for you I don't think it would be worth worrying over. And if she is being like this and if u two don't talk I would just send a tetxt saying heyy when you feel like being friends or whatever than let me know but I am done trying.
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