A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi all! I have a boyfriend and weve been together for 1.5 years now. We used to meet a lot but recently he has gotten very busy and i havent seen him in 3 months. Firstly about 2 months back he went to his native town, about 7 hours drive away from here. He did not inform me when he went, until i called him 3 days later he said he was in his native down with severe fever and all. Ever since he went there we have not spoken properly. Maybe once a week until he came back here. I wanted to meet him badly but he was too busy with college. Im gg to college as well. Now just recently i found out he went to his native to get therapy as he has a condition similiar to bipolar. Im not exactly sure what it is as he did not tell me but he is on medication. We rarely talk these days im always the one calling him up to check on him. In fact he goes to bed early and whenever i call him he is asleep. Why cant he tell me before going to bed? He keeps saying he needs to sleep and i feel like im disturbing him. I really dont know what to do.I love him a lot and im missing him too much these days. I cant tell him how i feel because he has no time to listen. He is doing a part time business after college and practically has no time at all for me. Hes casual about this but im missing being with him. Every time i try calling him he is either in college, busy working or needs to sleep. I cant let him go.. It really been about 3 months since we spoke properly. Please help Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Denise32  +, writes (16 July 2012):
 On the other hand, you could consider that he has in fact ended it with you, by default - that is, by not having the basic consideration or courtesy to get in touch with you for the last three months, health issues and business matters notwithstanding. He surely can't be THAT busy that he can't find five minutes to pick up his phone and call you, now can he?!
And in any event, why SHOULD you keep doing all the calling and running after him? He certainly isn't returning the compliment. Relationships are supposed to be a two-way street, after all!
You say you can't let him go. I ask you this: why do you want someone who has such disregard for you? If you say its because you love him, then "I" say what is there to love?
And yes, I am aware this is upsetting but you have your dignity and self-esteem to consider - he certainly does not consider you! You deserve better.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 July 2012): Hi girls! Thank you so much for the response. We have spoken over the 3months but just not much as compared to before. We have not met thou. I love him too much to let him go, infact he is a very sweet guy. He has tried to make me understand that he was not like this before and that these days he must sleep early otherwise it will affect his health. I have asked him about us and he insists he loces me alot and cant be without me. I know i have to care for him because he is away from his parents but im getting worried hes not caring about me. He never used to be this way. Should i move away for timebeing?if i do im afraid he will get hurt
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A
female
reader, BondGirl72 +, writes (16 July 2012):
 You need to let go or you will continue to be disappointed. Some men do not give reasons as to why they no longer want to be with you. Some do not have the courage to tell you the truth, others don't really care. Your guy has not talked to you in three months and you always have to contact him. This should tell you that if you are doing all the work, he isn't interested in a relationship with you. It could be his health, it could be college, it COULD be a whole list of things, but you cannot keep hanging on to something that isn't there. I agree with Starlights. I would call him or text him and say that you have not talked in 3 months and is it best that you split up for now? I know this is hard and is devastating as I've had to do it myself, but please don't continue to sit around and wait on someone who is not there for you emotionally or physically, when you could be out living your life.
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A
female
reader, Starlights +, writes (16 July 2012):
 This relationship sounds as if he's too busy to consider your feelings and his health issues does not help...
i think his health is his priority at the moment and thats why he's laid back and relaxed about it all.
Its probably best to ask and discuss with him if you two should still be together?
that way you dont have to waste your time going back and forth.
Goodluck.
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