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What did he mean when he told me not to get too attached?

Tagged as: Dating, Friends, Sex, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (7 January 2013) 9 Answers - (Newest, 8 January 2013)
A female United Kingdom age 26-29, anonymous writes:

I've liked the same guy for almost 3 years now. He's a good friend as well. Basically the whole time of when I've liked him he's had girlfriends too though.

Recently he just split up with his girlfriend whom he has been going out for for almost 2 years. In November 2011 (while he was still going out with this girl) he confessed to me that he liked me, and has done for a long time but he adores his girlfriend too so.

Even though you may find it stupid, don't say anything like "you don't know anything, you're young.", because you don't know how I feel. Anyways, he kind of cheated on his girlfriend with me. I'm close friends with his sister and a few times when I've stayed round theirs, me and this guy have ended up doing 'stuff' (not sex though!)

Anyway, yeah so he's split up with his girlfriend now though. And yesterday he was round mine for the day, and we ended up kissing and we did oral etc... As well as just gaming and talking and having cute hugs and little pecks on the cheek and stuff. I was so happy you wouldn't believe it. It felt as though we were in a proper relationship and all because it wasn't all just lustful, but we acted as just friends too.

Anyways, today I was talking about the fact that in my diary I had to staple in an extra 4 pages into yesterdays date and I said "I'm such a saddact-.-''" and then he replied with "nooo! I think it's sweet :')", but the thing that worried me was, after that he said "Don't get too attached because you never know. Not to put you down I'm just warning you its not worth getting so attached. We're young. Let's piss about yeah you only live once" ...

What do you think he meant by that?...

View related questions: kissing, split up

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A reader, anonymous, writes (8 January 2013):

You need to tell him to get lost. All he wants is sex and no committment. He has no love nor respect for you and thinks he can get u anytime becauise he knows you are into him.

Put this down to experience and find someone that genuinely loves you and wants to be with you.

Also refrain from being that sexual as you need to let a relationship develop and to be able to trust that person is not using u.

You are young dont let this peace of **S destroy you.

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A male reader, anon_e_mouse United Kingdom +, writes (8 January 2013):

anon_e_mouse agony aunt"Don't get too attached because you never know. Not to put you down I'm just warning you its not worth getting so attached. We're young. Let's piss about yeah you only live once"

He wants to muck about with you and use you is what he's saying. He has no interest in being your boyfriend or in a relationship with you.

"Let's piss about yeah you only live once"

That's very nice isn't it? He's an idiot and doesn't care about you. The sort of boy that would use you and then tell all his mates. If you were my sister I'd tell you to WALK AWAY and I tell you something else, I'd be watching out for him.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (7 January 2013):

Honeypie agony auntI agree with Daisy's last post... if you are 13-15.. DO NOT have sex with this guy.

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A female reader, CindyCares Italy +, writes (7 January 2013):

CindyCares agony aunt It means he has no intention whatsoever to be dating you, and to not get too excited about what were and are going to be simply random hook ups.

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A female reader, Daisy_Daisy United Kingdom +, writes (7 January 2013):

Daisy_Daisy agony auntAfter posting my reply, it occurred to me that you are young to be having sex, even if it's only oral at this stage:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio1/advice/factfile_az/age_of_consent

You are too young to legally consent, even to oral. Please read the link. Reason enough to stop fooling around with this boy.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (7 January 2013):

Honeypie agony auntHe doesn't want to date you. He doesn't want YOU to be his next GF - at least not at the moment.

IF you keep having sex with him, you will NOT change his mind on it.

He is either not up to dating anyone, or maybe just not you.

I would keep this strictly platonic or you will get your feelings hurt.

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A female reader, Daisy_Daisy United Kingdom +, writes (7 January 2013):

Daisy_Daisy agony auntHe doesn't want a relationship with you. It's all about the physical stuff. At least he is honest.

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A female reader, shrodingerscat United States +, writes (7 January 2013):

shrodingerscat agony auntHe's only using you to get off. He doesn't care about you romantically, he finds you physically and sexually attractive but that's the limit he's willing to give you.

A piece of advice from me to you.

"Don't make someone a priority in your life if you're only an option in theirs."

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (7 January 2013):

So_Very_Confused agony aunthe means he's using you for sex.

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