A
female
age
30-35,
*reats
writes:I used to be with this guy and we were really into each other he loved me and I loved him. Now he says that he doesn't love me anymore but he likes me and really cares for me and that I'm important to him. We're just friends right now because we have history and decided to keep in neutral because we have communication problems and when we're friends there's barely any problems; except one that I'm having right now = I'm still in love with him and I told him but he told me he doesn't love me anymore. We have amazing chemistry and he loves just about everything about me but he's not in love with me - I've been trying to get over him but I want things to go back to the way they used to be. so should I get over him or not and if not, what could I do to show him that I'm the one for him. p.s. were on different paths in life, we both want different things but that doesn't mean that we can't love each other now and be with each other and who knows, our plans might change because our love for one another is so strong. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Original shiraz!  +, writes (9 April 2009):
Your love is strong there's no doubt about that but i cant help feeling that his may not be so much which makes it hurt all the more. You've said it yourself, your heading in different directions and sometimes even love isn't enough to make that work. Deep down you know what to do but you feel that you cant let go as you still love him so much, it will only tear away at you and you will never move forward whereas he probably already is. It will be hard but you too need to move on, let this one go and learn from it.To make something work and stay strong you need the input and love from both people, you cant base a love on one person hoping that things will eventually change, its really hard but if his love is not there then you cant do any more, you cant force something that's not meant to be there. And even if you could would you want it to be a forced relationship? One that deep down one of you feels was never meant to be? Its always hard to accept when your still in love but they don't give it back, its like a break of a bond a different type of hurt that you cannot stop or handle.He wouldn't want you hurting after so long, im sure hed want you to be happy but he cant give you what you want if he doesn't feel it too. You cannot show a person how they should feel or who you are, for it to work they need to see it themselves, not have you prove it, it just be a natural thing you dont even notice you posses. There is somebody out there that will feel this, will witness this from you but i don't think this is the guy. Put all your effort and energy into moving and and getting over him, its the only way forward and unless you act soon you'll still be in the same situation months down the line and with the same response, you wont gain anything unless you act for yourself. Good luck in getting over the one you let go, for all the right reasons.
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