A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Dear Cupid,Ive gone on a few dates with this one guy, that i like very much. For my birthday yesterday he took me out to the movies. He kissed me and then decided to tell me he cant date me. He talked about not wanting things to go wrong, because his friends wouldnt aprove and wounld be angry and not talk with him. He also talked about how he wouldnt be able to see me often, as we live in different towns and hes busy. Then he talked about how he just wants to be friends. I agreed to pretend that nothing ever happened and that were just friends. I still have trouble with this. Im confused that he would say he liked me and decide it was such a horrible mistake. He and i arent acting like he kissed me. I cant ignore it. I want him to want to be with me, but he keeps saying he doesnt want a girl friend now that his lifes so complicated. I think hes parents may also not like him liking me. I just dont know what to do. He jsut wants to be friends. now hes seemed to have decided that he shouldnt date me either. Were "friends" even tho i cant forget him kissing me. What could i do to convince him that dating me wouldnt be a horrible idea?
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female
reader, GeorgiaGirl84 +, writes (16 June 2008):
 First off, I would be asking him why his friends/parents wouldn't approve of you. Have they ever actually met you? Have you done something that would make them not respect you? Are you someone he should really be ashamed of?
Do you really want to be involved with someone who cares that much what his friends think? Seems like they're making decisions for him because he's incapable of doing it himself. I think you should be with someone who would be proud to have you and not care what everyone else thinks. His friends would probably have a LOT of influence on your relationship if you did get together. If you want to have a romantic dinner together and his friends want to go the bar, they'd probably win over you. If you can handle that, then go for it. I personally think it sounds like an excuse. If it's not an excuse, it's definitely a sign of weakness.
As for the kissing, sounds like you read more into it than he did. The fact that you've gone on dates before, he took you out on your BIRTHDAY, AND he kissed you is HUGE. I can understand getting caught up in it. If it's difficult to be around him and act like everything is platonic, maybe you should give yourself some space from him for a little while. It could work to your advantage if you truly want to be with him. Not being so easily accessible could make you more desirable to him since most guys want what they can't have. I think you're too good for him though. I wish you luck though.
A
female
reader, countrygirlWV +, writes (16 June 2008):
 Ok first of all I think if he cares so much about what others will think and stuff then y the hell bother with daten. He might as well ask his mommy and daddy to arange his marriage I think u just need to find a man who is only gonna care what u think and don't care about everybody elses opinion. I think the way it looks to me ur better off just forgetten an idiot and think bout a better guy.
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