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male
age
,
anonymous
writes: Hello, I hope you can help. I need to know how common is my situation and how to get help. I'm in my late 40 -es,and a few years ago I became impotent. I'm married more than 20 years ago, and I do love my wife. She is attractive, and we get along, but I don't have any desire for sex.Not just with her, I generally don't have any sexual thoughts, or desires. I don't see anybody else, and it is very damaging for our relationship. She thinks , I don't love her anymore, and its very hard for her I`can understand that. It is very sad, and it's been like that a few years now. I did go to doctors , they say,I'm healthy, no heart problems or diabetes.I don't take any medications, or I don't drink or smoke. I really don't know what is going on. The also checked my testosterone , and it was k. I got some shots ,just to bust my libido, but it didn't help. Now , what makes it worst , I can't use Viagra ,as I don't have desire, and without that ,it won't work. So I have a question , what could be wrong with me? Is there anybody else out there who felt the way I do? I don't want to hurt my wife. What should I think or do ? Thanks
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female
reader, Blue_Angel0316  +, writes (27 December 2008):
 Find a Doctor who will work with you until you find out what is going on. They should be able to help you on ideas about what to do. Seeing a therapist might help. I know that sometimes the connection from the heart to your sensual parts is sometimes shortwired. If you can rule out depression it can still be a number of other things.
Talk to your wife about things and give her reassurance that you are STILL IN LOVE with her. Let her know that you want things to be normal again. Involve her with your plan for working out the problem you are having. Do things with her and make her feel special. If she loves you it isn't likely she is going to leave you after 20 years.
Try not to blame yourself, it happens to alot of men. Women go thru certain things also. Accept that you have a problem and know that it doesn't make you less of a man. Don't be afraid of your performance, just please your wife the best you can. Remember that she has most likely done things(including sex) durning peiods when she was too tired or too worried ,etc but did it for the love in your partnership. Women love intamacy as a general rule. It's not always the sex we are looking for but the loving, gentle, intamacy of the man we love and adore. Don't sell yourself short. Use your imagination and read up on things you can do to rectify this situation.
Here are some sites that might give you some ideas and help.
http://www.VIAGRA.com
http://www/BostonMedicalGroup.com
http://www.medicinenet.com/impotence
http://www kidney.niddk.nih.gov/kudiseases/pub/impotence
You can try reading this for the woman in your life.
http://www.andrology.com/partnerofEDsufferrer.htm
http://rejoyn.com/FAQ.html
http://www.phoenix.org/companions6steps2.html
http://www.articlebiz.com/article198481-1-foreplay-advice-for-men-and-women
I hope these will help you and my best to you and your wife for the upcomming NEW YEAR!
God bless,
Blue_Angel
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